AJ: You Dress the Soul

Today, i received the most amazing compliment. I was discussing the duality/conflict of my gender and someone I think of as my sister said:

“You Dress the Soul and that is light years ahead of most beings who dress the flesh.”

I am really beginning to see my inner beauty and I feel more authentic everyday. I feel like a happy girl and I knew this needed to be in my Appreciation Jar.

BYJ (&QFMR): Day 39 – Have Someone Else Make a Resolution For You.

Hi everyone! 😚

I believe I’m in a better mood than the last few days and I’m ready to get back to making myself a more beautiful person – translated as “I want to be a badass!” 😎🌹💪🌻😍😁💟👗👜

Today’s BYJ task involves asking a loved one to make a resolution for me. The author suggests asking a loved one, but I’m somewhat removed from people in real life, so I thought I’d ask one of you! The author indicated that it is interesting to see your behaviors through someone else’s eyes and to attempt a c hsnge based on what they see. The author mentioned she asked her husband who only wanted her to cleanup her dish from breakfast, instead of leaving it for later. She felt it was an easy change and took care of it.

So, I ask all of you, my wonderful readers, if there is one resolution you’d like me to make, what would that be?

BYJ: Day 38 – Who’s your “Go-To” Girl?

I really liked the activity in this section of the Beautiful You book.  The author says that every woman needs her “go to” girl for things.  This is another woman that is your best confidante – someone you can go to with any issue; or as the author explains, she is the woman you can call up “just to bitch”.  She goes on to explain that this girl is the one that allows you to vent about anything and it helps relieve so much stress and anxiety. She would be the kind or woman that helps you boost your sense of self.  OF course, this person wouldn’t only hear the negative things you have to say, but she would be someone to help you identify “growth opportunities”. She would be the kind of friend that assists you in advising about significant decisions in life and allows you the chance to be that for her.

During the activity section – i.e. the BYJ – the author instructs you to identify your go-to girl.  And she expresses that it’s important to recognize who this might be.  I have to be honest at this point, because I have several “go-to” girls and I think a lot of them have been available to me, as I’ve needed. So, many of you wonderful women have always been so encouraging and supporting to me and all of you allow me to be the woman I feel like being. Some of you have even challenged me when I feel like giving up.  I have to also admit, I don’t know that I have been the best go-to girl, but I’d like to think that I’m the kind of girl with a big heart willing to help anyone.  But, I’m not sure if I have a BFF…there are a few of you that have been so much closer than others and it makes me realize something about myself – maybe I’m not paying attention to those girls willing to be a BFF to me.  So, I’m sorry if I have been so self-absorbed.

Anyways…I think I want a best girlfriend…bff…confidante…and girl time.

BYJ: Day 37 – Get Fitted

I’ve often heard that clothes that fit perfectly tend to make you feel so much better about yourself; this would explain the constant love-hate relationship we have with trying on different clothing items.  Today’s BYJ entry concerns getting fitted for a bra; the author makes the statement, “the wrong bra impacts you feel (underwires that dig into your sides are enough to make any woman crazy) and how your clothes look, which impacts your sense of confidence.” Then she explains the intended activity to get fitted for a bra, trying on different styles, ensuring a good match and then buying one.

Sometimes, I feel like I have to be honest with myself and admit that this probably wouldn’t have the effect on me that it might on other women. And it’s going to eat at me a little, and sometimes it just feels like a jagged little pill

BYJ: Day 35 – Watch the Dove Videos

The particular task for the BYJ that is requested is to watch the Dove Videos.  The reader is asked to consider that Dove videos were created to get women to think differently about Beauty and the Beauty industry. In some retrospect, it becomes readily obvious that there is a movement to get away from allowing others to determine what the standard of beauty should or should not be.

Of course, I’ve posted before what I think beauty is or is not.  I’m working on feeling more beautiful and detaching myself from what others may or may not see as beautiful.  Having issues with gender and gender identity can present a conflict with this in conceptual terms, since one desire of mine is to feel more feminine, it can easily be confused with wanting to appear “pretty” or “beautiful”.

Just me contemplating beauty and femininity…

BYJ: Day 34 – Use Twenty-Five Words

Today, in my BYJ, I’m asked to describe myself “in twenty-five words or less, without using any physical descriptors or naming any of my roles.”  This seems intriguing, and honestly, I find it almost as difficult as my last BYJ exercise.  The author gives a couple of examples and she begins each example with, “I am a woman who…”; so, I will do the same.

“I am a woman who…”

… has the power to change HER path, but living each day, one at a time, with passion.”

Interesting…I did this without thinking and something positive came out of me.  Is THAT beautiful or what?! ❤




(Note: I will be sporadic in my blogging over the next few days as I head home for my grandmother’s funeral.  I’m sure you’ll all understand my absence. I may or may not post again today, but we’ll see…kinda busy)

BYJ: Day 33 – Complete These Sentences

As I continue to write in my Beautiful You Journal, I am struggling with a few things – they’re not new, just routine. There are other things in my life that I’m dealing with too, but I rarely discuss people in my life, but I have a loved one in hospice right now. But yesterday, when I was working out a few things in my head, I had a difficult time doing this particular post. It involves me being intentionally positive and I don’t think I was having any of it, yesterday.

So, please bear with me as I force myself through this exercise. The author of the book encouraging a Beautiful You transformation, suggested completing the following sentences (my completion is below each start):

Someone who energizes me is…

…extremely positive and encouraging. There is no one particular person. I used to be influenced by a lot of positive people, but at some point I became an adult and supposedly, adults are supposed to take care of themselves emotionally. I have found that I tend to be an emotional chameleon and take on other people’s emotions. So, I need someone energetic and positive in my life.

I am taking greater interest in…

…so many things.  Honestly, in another post I made a list of things I want to do before I turn 46. Granted, some of them are easier than others, but I certainly have an interest in a lot of different things. But based upon hearing yesterday, again, that I am fat, I really want to be in shape again. I’m estimating I’m about 12 pounds less than when I started, but I still have a long ways to go.  Unfortunately for me, I have a very ambitious mind, but I lack an efficiency in action and give up, because I can’t figure out a priority to tackle all of my goals in life.

I am yearning for…

…self-acceptance, self-esteem, self-confidence, self-love, etc., etc.

I am proud of…

…people I never speak of online, my education, my love of hiking, having earned a 5th degree blackbelt at one time, my time as a police officer, the life I used to have.  Honestly, there are a lot of things I used to be proud of, but I feel like those things don’t matter to anyone else (Am I expressing that I seek validation from others?  Ugh…gross!)

I believe in…

…the power of love. Honestly, I can’t believe that was the first thing that popped into my head. I was going to ignore that and give a text-book answer and say “I believe in God and Science”, which is true, but it’s not the first thing that popped into my head. I went with the first thing to pop into my head.

I have to admit, that this entry, and the last entry, were really difficult for me. IT might seem trivial and silly to some, but I have to say that at one time in my life I had a lot of pride, I loved my life. I was engaged, energetic, optimistic, positive and I would even say a hot, sexy, fun person.  It disappeared someplace and now I have this fear of dealing with it all and trying to reclaim things and not getting any of it. What if I fail at being happy and content?  Going through positive and enriching activities has the effect of giving me hope when I sometimes feel like hope would remind me of what I don’t have in my life, so I have avoided anything like this for so long…