BYJ: Day 33 – Complete These Sentences

As I continue to write in my Beautiful You Journal, I am struggling with a few things – they’re not new, just routine. There are other things in my life that I’m dealing with too, but I rarely discuss people in my life, but I have a loved one in hospice right now. But yesterday, when I was working out a few things in my head, I had a difficult time doing this particular post. It involves me being intentionally positive and I don’t think I was having any of it, yesterday.

So, please bear with me as I force myself through this exercise. The author of the book encouraging a Beautiful You transformation, suggested completing the following sentences (my completion is below each start):

Someone who energizes me is…

…extremely positive and encouraging. There is no one particular person. I used to be influenced by a lot of positive people, but at some point I became an adult and supposedly, adults are supposed to take care of themselves emotionally. I have found that I tend to be an emotional chameleon and take on other people’s emotions. So, I need someone energetic and positive in my life.

I am taking greater interest in…

…so many things.  Honestly, in another post I made a list of things I want to do before I turn 46. Granted, some of them are easier than others, but I certainly have an interest in a lot of different things. But based upon hearing yesterday, again, that I am fat, I really want to be in shape again. I’m estimating I’m about 12 pounds less than when I started, but I still have a long ways to go.  Unfortunately for me, I have a very ambitious mind, but I lack an efficiency in action and give up, because I can’t figure out a priority to tackle all of my goals in life.

I am yearning for…

…self-acceptance, self-esteem, self-confidence, self-love, etc., etc.

I am proud of…

…people I never speak of online, my education, my love of hiking, having earned a 5th degree blackbelt at one time, my time as a police officer, the life I used to have.  Honestly, there are a lot of things I used to be proud of, but I feel like those things don’t matter to anyone else (Am I expressing that I seek validation from others?  Ugh…gross!)

I believe in…

…the power of love. Honestly, I can’t believe that was the first thing that popped into my head. I was going to ignore that and give a text-book answer and say “I believe in God and Science”, which is true, but it’s not the first thing that popped into my head. I went with the first thing to pop into my head.

I have to admit, that this entry, and the last entry, were really difficult for me. IT might seem trivial and silly to some, but I have to say that at one time in my life I had a lot of pride, I loved my life. I was engaged, energetic, optimistic, positive and I would even say a hot, sexy, fun person.  It disappeared someplace and now I have this fear of dealing with it all and trying to reclaim things and not getting any of it. What if I fail at being happy and content?  Going through positive and enriching activities has the effect of giving me hope when I sometimes feel like hope would remind me of what I don’t have in my life, so I have avoided anything like this for so long…

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “BYJ: Day 33 – Complete These Sentences”

  1. It takes courage to walk this road in the storm of fear, the damp cloying fogs of doubt, or the harsh glare of others expectations. You’re showing your steel by admitting the challenges and problems and determination to keep on keeping on.
    Best wishes to you and may God watch over your loved one is a hospice.
    Roger

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s