BYJ: Day 28 – Stop Comparing

I like how this topic is linked to the two previous ones, here and here. The author encouraging the BYJ has linked these three days quite well, which tells me it is something she feels is really important.  So, I’ll listen and follow.  As she discusses this topic, she stresses the important of seeing yourself as a unique woman unlike any other woman and that each woman is unique in her own way – I think this is something we can all agree on, but we all tend to compare ourselves to other woman or what we think is the standard of a woman and emphasizes it when she says, “…the picture perfect life you see on the outside is not reality anyway.” And then she poses a few questions to ask yourself. Here are my responses:

“Who are you comparing yourself to and in what way?”

For me, I tend to compare myself to those women that I believe are feminine, beautiful, exemplify a lady-like persona, and are fiercely sexy. But I compare myself to these women, because, honestly, I was born as a male – and it’s a small example of what I feel I can’t really be.

“What effect is that comparison having on you?”

In short: It makes me hate myself. I feel like I can’t ever measure up to this standard.

“What purpose does the comparison serve?”

Suuure…ask this question AFTER I answered the last one! Honestly, I feel like it gives me an idea of what I should (crap! There’s that word again.  Someday, someone remind me to blog about my relationship with the word “should”) be like, if I were an actual woman.  But the reality is, that is doesn’t serve me well at all.  As I consider my total existence, this comparison does nothing but make me feel bad about myself.

The author then goes on to explain that you should just stop comparing. Sometimes, I struggle with concepts like this, because it’s like, “If I could stop, don’t you think I would?!?!”  Honestly, it’s not like I enjoy being self-degrading…sigh.  But she goes on to explain that going through the steps of figuring out the “Why” of it all is beneficial to see how it doesn’t actually help you at all.  I know this will take work on my part, so I’ll certainly try to do this, because I really do want to feel better about myself.

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