BYJ: Day 26 – End the Rivalry

So, I’ve decided to re-engage in my journey to inner beauty and continue the Beautiful You Journal that I began oh so long ago. I began it this little adventure almost a year ago, but took a serious break – which is obvious based on the fact that I’m only on Day 26 and it is intended to cover an entire year. So, don’t be surprised if I hit like 4 or 5 of these posts per day, until I kinda put a dent in this constant obstacle I present myself in the form of self-deprecation. After speaking to a friend yesterday, via email, I think I’m at a place where I can accept that I may never actually BE female, but it doesn’t mean I can’t embrace that inner-woman that I have become rather attached and affectionate towards. The reality is, of course, I feel good about myself when I explore this feminine inner being I believe I have. I’m tired of feeling like crud, and if this does it for me and I’m not hurting anyone, who am I to question it? I like Stephanie and I want to like me, as well. Granted, there are some implications about it all that I still have to work through, but life should be an adventure or else it would be BORING!

So, as I continue, let me talk about the next step in the process of being a more Beautiful me: Ending the Rivalry. The book titled “Beautiful You” has this little journal exercise for each day that I am really finding a lot of positivity in doing.  Today’s post is about Ending the Rivalry with other women.  It discusses the TV show “The Bachelor” and how the rivalry between the female contestants has become our source of entertainment. The Real Housewives franchise on BravoTV was the first thing that came to mind for me – those women are completely vile to one another (And I would be lying, if I said I didn’t take some guilty pleasure in watching a couple of the series shows).  The author if this book discusses the very real possibility that our own insecurities tends to create this innate desire to “size up of other women”  – and I would have to agree.  For some reason, we tend to notice someone we feel is prettier than us, skinnier than us or whatever. In fact, I literally alluded to this yesterday (Although, I was not being mean, I can literally admit I’m a bit jealous that I can’t BE as wonderful as I see this woman to be). The author expresses that there is a tendency to compete with other women based on, almost in her exact words, “we see ourselves as less than or more than another woman”.

So, she goes on to explain that the best thing that suits us is not competing. To simply see ourselves as just being who we are, but try to see other women as “potential allies”. She goes on to express that when we feel that urge to size-up another woman we should turn that energy into trying to get to know the other woman to learn something about her. She says, this will “realease yourself from the need to feel inadequate or anxious.”

I really liked this post, and although I have never really felt like competing with other women – mostly because I have always felt that I could never measure-up – I have felt jealous, inadequate and certainly anxious.  I fall into that trap of what an ideal look, image, and attitude I should have.  I liked one thing in this section of the book that really stood out for me: “The truth, quite simply, is that we are who we are.”


11 thoughts on “BYJ: Day 26 – End the Rivalry”

  1. I love the idea of a BYJ and I know my 13 year old self could have REALLY used it! I struggled with constantly comparing myself to those around me and it perpetuated a very negative self image that took years to let go of. But once we let go of those mind games, we open to the possibility of so much more…like you are saying about self acceptance. Why shouldn’t you BE exactly who you are and have the opportunity to explore that unique amazing self for the rest of your life?! That sounds anything but boring. Each of us has something to overcome, some barrier (usually self created or adopted) but I believe the challenge -or opportunity- is to let go of the fears and obstacles and soar way past it. When we do, we inspire others (give them permission) to do the same. Good for you, you’re on your way up!! 🙂 Thank you for the inspiration!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It makes me feel good to be inspiring. I’ve never thought of myself that way – in fact, it’s almost an impossibility for me to think like that.
      I love the comment and I would recommend the book for sure! I got it from Amazon for my Kindle and love it. It’s so encouraging and positive – something that has been missing from my life for quite some time. 🙂
      And fear…hmm…that is a topic that I need to explore more.

      Liked by 1 person

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