My self-esteem has been under attack for quite some time. The unfortunate thing is that the enemy of my self-esteem is myself. Today, I wrote a post about prayer and when I did I realized I have not focused on building my inner beauty in a long time. Why do I call it my inner beauty? Because it is the essence of the piece in the book titled Beautiful You. One of my followers had suggested I read it and see what it can do for my self-esteem. I fell in love with the idea, almost instantly, because I feel connected to some of the qualities this book tries to pull out of me when I read it.
Today, I went back and read another entry – Day 25, and the section is titled “Engage the World”. It discusses the superficial things that we do that makes us hate ourselves – mostly focused on the exterior quality if ourselves. It essentially pleads with us to look at our “soul…the makings of an everyday miracle.” The section explains that there are what the author calls “esteemable acts”, because they are the things that are focused on our soul. Those activities that make us feel better about ourselves. And then it asks us to write in our Beautiful You Journals (BYJ) to “reflect on the admirable acts you already do in your life.” As soon as I read this, I realized I have not focused on “admirable acts” in a long time.
I used to be the person that everyone would call when they needed help – moving, cleaning a house for sale, helping elderly family members, giving a ride, etc. I stopped doing that. Someplace along the line, I became convinced that my goodness was being exploited and nothing was being done for me in return. Sadly, the reality is that I took on someone else’s opinion, so as not to upset that person. All of a sudden, I realized that I stopped focusing on the things that make me feel good in order to make someone else feel good. I simply can’t do that anymore. I liked when people thought of me as reliable, conscientious of others, thoughtful, pleasant, good natured, caring, etc.
The post in today’s BYJ expressed that the coming months would be focused on getting us to engage in the world in a more routine way. In a way, I’m excited to do that, because I have missed interacting with the world around me and I’m tired of feeling like a shut-in. I am a beautiful person and I want to share that beauty with others and with the world around me.