It’s not often I have dreams that I remember, but last night was one of those times that I had a dream I could remember. Although, I realize dreams are merely a collection of thoughts, memories, experiences, and emotions, I also believe they are ways our thoughts play out to guide us, if you understand them. Well, last night I had a dream that is clear to me in remembering it, but unclear to me as what I should, if anything, understand about it.
In the dream, I’m running. I am running towards a mountain range, through a pretty meadow with various types of wildflowers, grasses and other vegetation. I’m approaching the snow-capped peaks of the mountains and as I look behind, there are storm clouds forming and approaching. (I’m from Colorado, and that is so NOT how weather occurs here…storm clouds build over the mountains and roll towards the eastern plains…typically). I kept running with a smile on my face, as if I’m playing cat and mouse with the approaching storm. I pass a puddle of water and notice my hair is blowing from the air passing me as I run, and as the storm approaches my hair begins flailing in the other direction. The clouds come over me, and begin to hit the mountain peaks I’m running towards. Black, ominous, with lightening starting to strike the mountains. Great clashes of thunder – the awesome power of nature on full display – are erupting all around me. I look down at the sun-flower print summer dress I’m wearing, realizing I’m barefoot and wondering why I had nothing hurt my feet. Suddenly a sense of wonderment and awe filled my soul as I watched the eerily beautiful light show the lightening was providing in the dark clouds.
A crash of thunder and then a melodious voice filled the air, saying to me, “Why do you do this?” I shake my head and shrug my shoulders, noticing the bare skin of my arms and not feeling any cold but a wonderful sense of warmth. The sweet, beautiful, almost songful voice continued, “Why do you run away?” I felt a warmth along my cheek, something loving and encouraging, as the pretty voice continued, “You avoid everything and run from anything, why do you do this…?” A sense of shame began to form in my mind, oozing itself down to my heart. “You need to stop this, you need to fulfill what you are destined to fulfill. Now is the time, face your life, embrace what has been given to you.” Although the same was beginning to run itself through my body, the warmth from the voice I heard began to ward the darkness away. I noticed the clouds beginning to break-up and part as sunshine began to illuminate those beautiful snow-covered mountain peaks. I felt the warmth begin to enlighten all around me and the voice continued to speak to me, “You are a beautiful child and you have responsibilities, but you fight what is given to you. Learn to embrace yourself and use what is given to you.”
The voice began to sing. It sang about life and life’s purpose. It began to drift away, it began to become faint. I looked down at the dress I wore and it began to fade. It faded away, leaving me naked. I stood there in the nude, aware of my self, but confused about what that meant. I began to walk again; naked, I walked. I walked without a dress, walked without a suit, walked without shoes, I walked without a skirt, I walked without jeans, I walked completely naked. I walked and walked and walked and then I became aware that I was a man, lost in a wilderness that could not be defined.
Suddenly I awoke, feeling completely bewildered and alone…