Playful Email Exchanges

Within the last couple of weeks, I’ve had a couple of email exchanges that kind of surprised me.  I’ve had a few guys email me and express their interest in me…um…sexually…as Stephanie.  And I have to admit, it’s been a little exciting and I easily liked some of the exchanges. I liked that I was treated as if I am Stephanie and these guys are fully aware of who/what I am.  On some level, it encourages me that I might still be able to find love someday and it encourages me that, in spite of everything, I can be appreciated for the person I am.

I read another post today discussing cyber-sex. Often times I have pondered cyber-sex and if it is right or wrong.  I have debated it almost as if it is another example of my being as an issue of right or wrong.  I would be lying, if I said I didn’t appreciate the attention I got from the guys that have emailed me.  Actually, it would be a monstrous lie, because I really loved the attention.  I don’t know if it had anything to do with my more feminine nature, I don’t know if it’s because I mentioned I am going to be getting a divorce and I don’t know if I’m reading into it, but since I started expressing myself as Stephanie, I have received more interest in me than ever before while having this blog.  But, without thinking about it too much, I have to admit that it was exciting and fun.  I recognize, however, that these have been short lived exchanges and some of them went well and some of them didn’t, but it made me feel more like…myself. It made me feel a little more at ease.

I have other things going on in my mind today – especially since I’ve had some heartfelt realizations over this past weekend – but I don’t know how to sort them out just yet, so it’s hard to discuss them.  I do know, however, thinking about the attention I have been getting from some guys lately, has me a little…silly, stupid, goofy, bashful, excited, free, encouraged, positive, humorous, giddy, energetic, scary, flirty, worried, etc., etc.  The emotions come pouring out…

But how real can any of it be…?

Advertisements

12 thoughts on “Playful Email Exchanges”

  1. Cyber sex is fun, but it’s always difficult to say how serious it is, and if it’ll have a chance to become anything more.
    I had a situation when I was involved in a virtual realtionship and it was pretty real, at least to me. So, that’s that. But there’s always chance that the other person doesn’t feel the same way so it’s something that you should mind. Maybe, you can actually discuss it.
    And always, ALWAYS make sure that whatever you do is safe i.e. if you for example send nudes/do cam-sex, make sure that in case anything goes wrong, these will not backfire = don’t show your face in these.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. As Morpheus asked Neo after he took the pill, “What is real?” I can remember when cybersex began… then spread like wildfire; the anonymity of those early Internet days would allow people to put their inner freak on display and was considered to be fun, right up until the moral implications of married folks engaging in cybersex activities came up, like emotional infidelity.

    Me? I’m not gonna lie and say I never had cybersex and I’ll admit that given my ability to write, coupled with a certified filthy mind, I was kinda good at it… until I realized that this form of imaginary sex was actually quite boring and predictable. Sitting at the keyboard and reading what some faceless guy was typing about what he was doing to me (or whatever), while kinda flattering if not really genuine, didn’t mean a whole lot.

    Still, the attention one can experience can be flattering or annoying… or it really can make you feel good about whatever sexuality decisions you’ve made… but unless those connections are consistent and conversations extend beyond how interesting a guy named Stephanie (and how hot) is, you can take it for whatever you want; it’s as real as you want and/or need it to be but I’ll add the caveat that there are a lot of men who’ll just drool all over themselves (or experience some other form of fluidic expression) just thinking about “feminized” men. Indeed, on a bi guys forum I belong to, feminine men was a topic of discussion and many of the guys chiming in spoke to having powerfully strong erections just thinking about guys who are a bit more feminine (but not in the classically, flamboyant, gay way).

    Their interest in you may or may not be genuine, depending on what they’re saying to you but as negative as this may sound, it can be comforting to know that there are people who think your inner girl is pretty damned cool, interesting, and hotter than Hell’s half acre.

    One of the questions we ask ourselves as bisexual men is, “Will anyone really accept me and the way I am?” Another is, “Would another guy find me interesting?” – and we’ll ask ourselves this question because we think we have reason to believe we’re not really all that interesting. Maybe a guy who contacts you only has a sexual interest – that’s to be expected; maybe he’s going through a similar epiphany as you are and is feeling relieved that he’s not really the only guy whose inner girl is starting to surface.

    It’s up to you to decide what is genuine interest and what any of this means to you, just as it’s up to you to decide what, if anything, to do about this rush of interest in you and/or Stephanie. Just remember, my friend, that you can think about anything you want… but doing something about whatever you’re thinking isn’t automatic or mandatory because as Kay very accurately says, if it can go wrong, it will.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m normally not a fan of cyber-sex, mostly because it leaves me feeling like it doesn’t fulfill the true essence of sex – the physical touch involved. But talking about it has been a little fun and encouraging and I admit, I’m truly shocked that some guys have been attracted to this part of me. It’s a nice feeling for sure.

      Like

  3. Keep being true to yourself, be it Stephanie or not. You need to search and find yourself.
    Not all exchanges will be truthful and what you’re looking for but any of them could turn out to be. Keep trying with and open mind and open heart.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s