I haven’t been around much lately, and it’s because the job I just started last week has me busier than crazy. I was hired back by the employer that laid me off almost 2 years ago. I went back to doing a job I had done before, as well – an engineer in the Oil & Gas industry. As you all can tell, by the fact I haven’t posted a blog in almost 2 weeks (probably longer, if I actually took the time to look), I have been incredibly busy. The job is quite a it different than I remember it.
I was doing this job over 10 years ago, before going into various leadership and management roles with this company. Now I’m back in the field and I truly had forgotten what it’s like to do this job. Not only that, I have not used skills that I need in so long that I look so rusty. Certain job tasks that used to take me only an hour or two to finish, are taking me three or four hours to do. Ugh! As you can imagine, my anxiety is hitting the rough.
I’m so self-conscious at times. Even as I call and ask for help and guidance, I feel so stupid, because these are things that I feel should (I am really beginning to hate that fucking word…I’m gonna should all over myself one of these days) know and can’t seem to remember. Sigh…but I’m asking. I’m asking anyways and it is so difficult, but so important for little ol’ me to do. Because I have a habit of running on self-will and assuming I know everything and when I run into a roadblock, I tend to torture myself to make it work.
Well, I’m not doing that anymore. I’m not fighting with myself. Sure, the tendency might still be there, but I am tired of fighting that battle and I am now just accepting things as they are and asking for help when I need it.
Anyways, I just wanted to touch base with everyone, because I miss you all so much. I’m not sure how often I’ll blog, but I’ll certainly try more often. I hope all of you are doing well. 🙂 ❤