I started my new-old job…

Hi y’all!

I haven’t been around much lately, and it’s because the job I just started last week has me busier than crazy.  I was hired back by the employer that laid me off almost 2 years ago.  I went back to doing a job I had done before, as well – an engineer in the Oil & Gas industry.  As you all can tell, by the fact I haven’t posted a blog in almost 2 weeks (probably longer, if I actually took the time to look), I have been incredibly busy.  The job is quite a it different than I remember it.

I was doing this job over 10 years ago, before going into various leadership and management roles with this company. Now I’m back in the field and I truly had forgotten what it’s like to do this job.  Not only that, I have not used skills that I need in so long that I look so rusty.  Certain job tasks that used to take me only an hour or two to finish, are taking me three or four hours to do. Ugh! As you can imagine, my anxiety is hitting the rough.

I’m so self-conscious at times. Even as I call and ask for help and guidance, I feel so stupid, because these are things that I feel should (I am really beginning to hate that fucking word…I’m gonna should all over myself one of these days) know and can’t seem to remember.  Sigh…but I’m asking. I’m asking anyways and it is so difficult, but so important for little ol’ me to do.  Because I have a habit of running on self-will and assuming I know everything and when I run into a roadblock, I tend to torture myself to make it work.

Well, I’m not doing that anymore. I’m not fighting with myself. Sure, the tendency might still be there, but I am tired of fighting that battle and I am now just accepting things as they are and asking for help when I need it.

Anyways, I just wanted to touch base with everyone, because I miss you all so much.  I’m not sure how often I’ll blog, but I’ll certainly try more often. I hope all of you are doing well. 🙂 ❤

 

 

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32 thoughts on “I started my new-old job…”

  1. Hey, it’s good to see you! I’m glad you’re not fighting with yourself and you’re asking for help. Are you happier? I hope so. Hugs, my lovely friend. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s the struggle that reminds me I’m alive, Vic! 😉
      I’m still working towards “happy”, but I am not nearly as miserable as I was a year ago. I think a lot of it has to do with accepting myself the way I am…I’m not longer fighting to meet an image that I think others would accept, I’m now just accepting myself the way I am…
      …and I think I’m a happy “girl”, as a result. ❤

      Liked by 3 people

      1. No, I didn’t. Ironic, considering most people would consider him a jackoff. And if that’s all he’s got in the position he’s in, he’s jacking off on the job, for that matter. But, usually, the smeller’s the feller.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Meg. If I’m being honest, I am already developing an exit plan from this job. I’m working in the field and I’m not the same person I used to be. I’m looking at this as a stepping stone for the time being, because the pay is decent and it’ll help clear up a lot of things, but I’m not done looking either.
      Not only that, I’ve realized I don’t look very pretty covered in dirt 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I love watching your life. You bring comfort and encouragement to many. Thanks for your transparency. I’m so very proud that you are making such great progress. Can’t wait to see the freeway things you will do. ♥️

    Liked by 2 people

      1. autocorrect… Freeway should say “great”. HaHa

        I love you–not sexually but I love you like I cannot describe. The way you maneuver through difficulty and uncertainty inspires me to not give up. You make me feel like anything is possible.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Congratulations Warrior. Getting there and looking ahead, that’s the spirit! (I seem to recall back in early 20th century US there was the phrase of encouragement on the sports field which meant you were really doing well ‘Hey! That’s the Old Stuff! That’s the Old Stuff!’

    Liked by 1 person

          1. Yes, northeast.. and we’re currently in the process of having a nor’easter blizzard as I type. Gonna be exercising those shovel muscle tomorrow. 70 huh? Dang! I’d rather be in Denver.

            Liked by 1 person

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