It’s been 78 days, since I last had a beer. My mind is more clear then it has been in a long time. I’m feeling more positive then I have felt in a long time. I feel slightly more healthy then I felt in a long time (Seriously, I have more lifestyle changes to make but step by step I’ll get there). And I am much more accepting of myself then I have been in a long time.

But, I still have cravings, but the cravings are different then they were before. A year ago, I knew I wanted to drink to hide my emotions, but today I know that the drink is only a temporary fix to the emotions that need to be addressed straight on. Now the cravings are due to the flavor of the beers I miss.

The other day, I was going to a Starbucks to get a coffee and there was a delivery truck nearby a liquor store and the truck was advertising Fat Tire Amber Ale and I reminisced the flavor of that beer (even as I write this, my mouth begins to water) and it made me question myself. It made me question if I can ever have another beer, like a hearty stout. It made me ponder if I am actually an alcoholic or if I just felt like crap for so long that I needed to see how life could be.

And then I wondered if this debate is proof that there needs to be another day I go without.

Today, I will finish sober.

Day 78.


37 thoughts on “Cravings”

  1. That’s one of my favorites as well. But, if not having one made me feel better, I’d gladly give it up. I’d miss it, but the benefits of not doing it far outweigh the temporary enjoyment. Stay the course. I know it’s hard, but you got this! 😊πŸ’ͺ🏻

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  2. This restored my morning before heading in to work and put a huge smile on my face. I am beyond proud of you and all the steps you have taken and conquered so far. Shit is tough at times and life can be challenge. Who said it would ever be easy, are coming out on top of it and you will continue to rise and claim the life you so deserve. Way to go my friend, I’m honored to call you a friend. Xoxo

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      1. When I stopped drinking, exercise helped me. I drank to relax ” fall asleep and I found that working out had a similar effect. Idk if that will work for you and I’m not doing much in the way of exercise right now, but it’s been 3 1/2 years since I last binge drank and i haven’t even drank socially since July. Keep it up. It DOES get easier x

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        1. Ya know, there was a time when I worked out every day and I felt great and rarely drank then. I kinda feel like I fell so far away that it’ll be almost impossible to feel and look as good as I once did.
          I know, I know…it’s my own hang up, but I just stress about stressing, ya know?

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  3. Good job! I’m at just over 5 months, daily drinker and I’ve lost 30lbs by just not having beer daily, not to mention the drunken mistakes I no longer have to apologize for, my anxiety has decreased and I sleep so much better! Keep it up! Great decision! πŸ™‚

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      1. Yea it was a pretty nice reward after doing something so hard. I also gained all my weight from drinking, but mostly due to what I was drinking. I would drink about 3-4 tall boys of the Mikes Harder which is almost 100 grams of sugar and 3000 calories from just beer alone! So, my body adjusted back as soon as it wasn’t under such high demand. Those things are diabetes in a can! Destroyed my teeth too, dealing with that now and a ton of cavities. It’s amazing the things we put our bodies through; all in the name if “feeling better” ugh! Keep it up! πŸ˜‰

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  4. Early in sobriety one finds all sorts of triggers. This too shall pass.. Like anything else, the cravings will eventually become a thing of the past. As usual, you are staying strong, one day at a time and I am super duper proud of you. I know some days are not as easy as others.

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  5. Definitely recognise those thought processes! I think it took me about 5 months to have an NA beer. I LOVED it so much I was so worried it would become another addiction… but after 1.5 bottles I didn’t want any more. Which was SO weird, but such a relief!!I don’t think I’ve ever had more than 3 bottles (and even that was probably once one – small 300ml bottles) in one sitting. Love the first one and then I tend to move on to water. And even then it’s only every couple of months. If I really want one ‘more than anything’ I’m not allowed one! Only when it’s a chilled, happy situation. No escapes/substitute. Actually.. haha.. not entirely true in the first year. A few times its what helped me through. Anyway, basically, go with your instinct. It definitely wasn’t right for me early on. And even now, a rare thing.

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  6. Wow. This is something to be proud of. When we question ourselves, it’s so easy to start justifying, or make excuses, talking ourselves into doing something… but you resisted the temptation, and that is praiseworthy.

    Congratulations to you!

    Liked by 1 person

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