It’s been 78 days, since I last had a beer. My mind is more clear then it has been in a long time. I’m feeling more positive then I have felt in a long time. I feel slightly more healthy then I felt in a long time (Seriously, I have more lifestyle changes to make but step by step I’ll get there). And I am much more accepting of myself then I have been in a long time.
But, I still have cravings, but the cravings are different then they were before. A year ago, I knew I wanted to drink to hide my emotions, but today I know that the drink is only a temporary fix to the emotions that need to be addressed straight on. Now the cravings are due to the flavor of the beers I miss.
The other day, I was going to a Starbucks to get a coffee and there was a delivery truck nearby a liquor store and the truck was advertising Fat Tire Amber Ale and I reminisced the flavor of that beer (even as I write this, my mouth begins to water) and it made me question myself. It made me question if I can ever have another beer, like a hearty stout. It made me ponder if I am actually an alcoholic or if I just felt like crap for so long that I needed to see how life could be.
And then I wondered if this debate is proof that there needs to be another day I go without.
Today, I will finish sober.