Okay, I am nervous for a medical screening for a job I am trying to get. Today, I got the paperwork detailing the things I need to do and I am genuinely concerned about my ability to do them. They should be relatively simple for my age and gender, but looking at them and realizing that I’m scared to do it means one thing and one thing only:
I’m very fucking aware of my health and fitness level.
I can’t continue to live like this. I’m tired, pissed off and want my old life back. This is some bullshit!
I shouldn’t be fucking nervous about this stuff, I shouldn’t be scared about my abilities. I should not have doubts.
I can not talk about it any longer. This shit is no longer a game; it’s fucking real and my life depends on it.