BYJ: Day 24 – Describe yourself

So, I have not written in my Beautiful You Journal in quite some time. Mostly, because the topic for this was extremely difficult. I didn’t want to describe myself a couple of months ago, because I was feeling the bouts of depression again and I was feeling self-deprecating. I wanted to capture when I was feeling good about myself. So, here goes:

I see myself as a beautiful person – my heart and soul looks for good in everyone. Growing up, my favorite compliment is that I was conscientious of others. I have a keen mind (when I’m sober), that is comfortable with logic, but tortured by emotion. I am meticulous about minor details within my work ethic. I think I would give the short off my back to anyone. I try to treat others with decency and respect. Although, I’m quite masculine on the outside, I am comfortable with my somewhat soft interior that heavily flirts with the feminine aspects of my personality. I still struggle being bisexual, and haven’t ever figured out traditional gender roles, so I tend to stumble with certain behaviors of either gender and gleefully exhibit others well. I am intelligent and love science and math, but have grown into enjoying those things that pull at emotions. I enjoy being more passive, versus being aggressive, but I am comfortable taking a leading role in situations that require it. I try and look upon others delicately, appreciating that everyone has a story.

Physically, I’m not quite at a place that I feel comfortable liking myself, but I am working on it. I struggle comparing myself to when I was in great shape. I’ve allowed the stresses and experiences of my life to bear down on me, negatively; but I have the desire to change. I have always been curious about looking as feminine as I feel on the outside, but have accepted, long ago, that this is not so simple for someone like me. So, on some level, I respect that I need to learn to like me just the way I am.

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16 thoughts on “BYJ: Day 24 – Describe yourself”

  1. Hey tarnished..
    I love ❀️ you just the way you are..!!!

    You are obviously πŸ™„ one ☝️ amazing and awesome gal..

    And you can only be you..
    I love how you describe you.. how you see and analyze you..

    Just recognize the wonderful you.. and embrace and love ❀️ yourself for exactly who you are..
    we wouldn’t want you any other way…

    Love you 😘… Nita…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Beautiful…just like you. You are special and unique and while nobody is perfect and we all have things we want to change and we don’t like about ourselves, you remind us to accept us the way we are. Appreciate what makes us unique and special and work towards our goals. Xoxoxoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You do need to learn how to love yourself just how you are because all I see is a beautiful, loving and caring person.
    Don’t worry about pre-determined gender roles because they suck! That is something I have very successfully achieved in my life and I really don’t care what people think.
    Allow yourself to be. That will definitely go into your appreciation jar! 😘

    Liked by 1 person

      1. When you are in the teeth of the struggle of surviving is the time you least feel like a survivor friend. It’s when the particular storm has subsided or calmed and you look back do you realise just what you have done.
        It’s a hard call, I know; and we don’t always get in right. But if you know what you need to do, then you are in there fighting.
        All the best.
        Roger (UK)

        Liked by 1 person

  4. It’s probably one of the most difficult things to accept ourselves, especially if we are conscientious, might have a touch of OCD, and are never satisfied with who we are and what we accomplish. I think we are often our worst enemies. My best friend reminds me regularly that I am a human being, and it helps! Don’t be too hard on yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

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