Keeping My Mind Clear

beauttiful-place

A clear mind is the most important thing to me right now.

This morning I had an email from a fellow blogger inquiring about my struggles and how I’m handling them. I’m truly thankful for all of the people that offer me encouragement and help me deal with things right now. But in response to this email, I expressed that I felt the most important thing I needed to do right now was keep my mind clear and healthy.  I have a lot of you giving me positive messages, which helps in tremendous ways, but I know that the amount of beer I have been drinking is NOT helping the matter.  That is the primary reason I’ve decided to stop drinking – I don’t like not being able to think clearly.

I have mentioned in previous posts that I felt my mind was my greatest asset and I have not been protecting it like it is my greatest asset. That is utterly irrational. I should (I really need to write about ‘should’…and what I hate about it) be focused on trying to keep myself thinking properly.  I once heard an “old timer” in an AA meeting say that his morals changed when he was drinking – I have a different philosophy about that, but I will say my thinking changes when I drink.

You see, as much negativity I spew about myself on here, I’m not sure it’s my basic nature. I was the person that used to be irritatingly positive – I could spot the proverbial silver lining in anything.  Truthfully, I began to experience some serious lows in life, and when it hit me that I couldn’t see positivity anymore, I began to drink – a lot.  I am determined to regain some positivity in my life, in spite of the negative things going on in life. I want that optimistic, never give-up, positive, hot, stud-muffin, debonair, good-looking, kissable (okay, okay…I’m just having fun with this) guy back. He is still in there and he is begging to come out.

good-enough

I just know, deep down, that once I begin thinking properly again, things will begin to fall into place. I believe that once I realize that I am a beautiful person, wonderful to others, positive, and capable that everything will begin to fall in line again. Granted, as my mind clears, I do realize I begin to ponder things again, and I will have some issues to face, but I am feeling like I want to deal with life again.

(P.S. I’m on day 5 and I feel better than I did on my last day 5.)

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17 thoughts on “Keeping My Mind Clear”

    1. I’ve had so many people suggest yoga to me, but I’m not rich…lol. I’m supporting two households right now, so it’s tough for me. I’m not going to rush anything right now, but this is my plan: Don’t drink today, clear my mind, get my thinking straight, begin eating right, do something physical (walk, pushups, whatever), and I’ll worry about the rest later.

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      1. Day at a time mate. When I realized after 4 years how that statement is so true I felt short changed that someone as intelligent as me could be given such a simple solution to something that ruined my life and put my brother in the ground then my best mate 3 years later. Alcohol kills alcoholics. Grange Hermitage = metho. It is all ethanol alcohol and we are allergic to it. Normal people have a few and put it down. I love the normal people in my life and will always look out for them.

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  1. I feel like I could have written every word of this myself minus the being a guy part and minus the drinking beer part. I like my evening cocktails too, and I have been feeling forever that it needs to stop. Heck, I quit smoking ten months ago after having smoked for FORTY YEARS. Did it cold turkey too. But the giving up of the evening drink with dinner is plain hard. It’s a demon that needs to get gone though because it absolutely does affect your spirit….puts a blanket on your soul. 😉 I prefer to keep my spirit bright and my soul uncovered. So keep it up Mistah! You are doing great!

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  2. You’re in control of this. Of all the chaotic things swirling around outside your head, the one thing you can control is how you deal with it. You want that outlook back, the positivity and clarity? Simply take it back. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow, I am just beyond proud of you. I know many support you in your quest and sometimes it’s difficult to find words so profound that they actually become more than just words, but convey the cheering and the raw emotion behind it. You are on your way and it is all your doing. The support helps but all will fall into place at your terms and when you are ready and this is exactly how it needs to be. Way to go my friend. You are a fighter and you are winning this battle.

    Liked by 1 person

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