This question has truly plagued me the past couple of years. And today, I read another blog discussing the proverbial “yets” that are the warning signs for alcoholics that recognize their ailment before having any major negative impacts to their lives. But the “yets” might also be the exact reason some people simply do not drink to excess. But it also makes me wonder where I sit in this questioning?
The truth of the matter is that I’m not sure I am an alcoholic. I am under the impression that alcoholics can’t stop drinking after one drink, but I do stop. I typically stop after two or three beers. Granted, I have had times where I drank a 6-pack or more, but those were rare circumstances. There have also been times where I drank “hard stuff” and I stopped because I didn’t like what it did to me, I didn’t like how I felt when I woke up after having drank hard stuff. An alcoholic has no ability to stop after the first drink, but I do stop on a regular basis.
I didn’t drink a beer today. I made the decision not to, because I had some leftover food in the little refrigerator in my hotel room. I also decided that I probably need to be cost conscious right now. An alcoholic wouldn’t care, would they? I’ve also decided on other occasions not to drink a day or two, as well. Plus, I had almost gone a full 90 days, back in April.
I think my main concern is that I use alcohol to numb my mind. I don’t want to think, sometimes, and I know it will have that exact effect. I’m not convincing myself that life will be better, that beer will somehow make me happy. I don’t have that delusion, so that means I’m not an alcoholic, right?
The bottom line is that I don’t know. I simply believe I am capable of not doing it and I believe I am capable of stopping, if I were drinking.