As some of you know, I’m a type 1 diabetic. That means I am insulin dependent and I have been since I was child and I have been living with it for 38 years. One of the major issues in dealing with diabetes is blood sugar control. Yes, of course I realize drinking alcohol impacts this control in negative ways; but in my defense, I haven’t given up fighting. Well, as I make strides in distancing myself from drinking (I’m still struggling, but I’m going to win!), I am having issues with my blood sugar and having to make changes to the insulin I take. Well, sometimes when you take more insulin than you need, your blood sugar drops drastically. This happened to me last night. But before I discuss that, I want to mention something else – the relationship between moods and blood sugar.
You see, your blood sugar and your moods are intertwined. Stress affects blood sugar and blood sugar affects mood. Stress is an interesting phenomena, because the body’s fight or flight mechanism will create a situation where stored sugars are dumped into the blood for energy. This creates high blood sugar in a diabetic, since we don’t naturally produce insulin. High blood sugar destroys your mood, it makes you feel lethargic, pissy, irritable, etc. Likewise, low blood sugar, which is usually caused from having too much insulin in the blood stream, creates a lot of different moods too. Sometimes, you can even appear drunk, because your speech is slurred, you stumble around, slow reaction time, etc. Another blessing of low blood sugar is very vivid dreams when you are sleeping. And since low blood sugar also creates a sense of panic in the body – it literally feels like you’re going to die unless you get food immediately – sometimes the dreams created are terrifying or weird.
Typically my low blood sugar dreams are weird in that they give me a warped sense of time and reality. During this time, I can’t tell if I am awake or asleep and my dreams become my reality. during some of these times, I have seen my body float through space and time (It sounds like an episode of the Twilight Zone coming on), in which I see the totality of human existence fly by me in a manner of seconds only to be consumed in a fiery inferno of a nuclear holocaust. Those terrify me like nothing I have experienced.
Last night’s dream was different though. In the dream, I was checking into a high class hotel. I remember handing my expense card to the hotel clerk and she informed me of the cost, and I paid it. At the time, I thought, “Wow, that’s really expensive for one night…”. I got on an elevator and rode it up to the top floor. Then I exited in a lobby of sorts, and I was directed to another tower of the hotel. I ordered a latte from a Starbuck’s in the walkway leading to the other tower and then got on another elevator to go back down. Then I got off the elevator to see the lobby I had entered originally. I got back on the same elevator, rode it to the top, walked across the walkway, ordered a latte, got on the other elevator and went down. This repeated over and over and I felt myself begin to panic with this endless pursuit.
At this point, I woke up and realized I wasn’t feeling well. I tested my blood sugar and it was 57 mg/dl – during the night it should be 100-120 mg/dl. It was extremely low. I treated it and for my blood sugar to come back up.
Anyways…I don’t know why I’m writing this, but I felt like I needed to share it for some reason…