Question For My Readers: Pursuing Spirituality…?

I’m truly struggling right now, and I feel like I have completely gone insane, so I don’t know how to get direction in my life. Since accepting my sexuality, I sort of feel like the faith of my youth is not-relevant (I was born and raised catholic), my science background doesn’t appeal to me anymore, the martial art I practiced for 30 years doesn’t inspire me anymore…I simply feel lost.

So, I ask all of you:

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What is your system of spirituality? Do you practice a religion? How to you maintain a center to accomplish the challenges of life? What does it for you and why?

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85 thoughts on “Question For My Readers: Pursuing Spirituality…?”

  1. Kindness. Do unto others…. and I swear. Fuck anyone who thinks they can stand over the downtrodden begging for help. I got a rock and roll band a fast right hand

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  2. I’ve never forgotten my martial arts training, which goes a long way to keep me grounded and centered. I’m admittedly not a religious man; I think the last time I was in a church it was for a funeral… or wedding but that doesn’t mean anything because I still pray and have deep conversations with my mother, who is a Sunday school superintendent and teacher.

    I’ve gotten so used to being grounded and centered, even after suffering my stroke, that I don’t even think about it; I know where the quiet center of myself is and when I need to, I just go there while understanding that being calm and cool even when things are crazy is the best way to handle things.

    Maybe they come out right, maybe they don’t but I don’t worry about the things I can’t do anything about and as my mom always reminds me to do, I put it in God’s hands and keep on keeping on.

    Keeps my blood pressure nice and low, keeps my stress levels down, keeps my head clear so I can think when I need to and I know that the alternatives are unpleasant and even life-threatening. Irises tombs criticized for being so calm in the face of calamity, giving people the impression that I didn’t care or was clueless but you can’t take care of things without being calm but determined to work the issues until they are no longer issues.

    Everyone has their own way of doing this, some through religion, meditation, even tai chi and the trick is to find what works for you that’ll keep you grounded, centered, calm and focused so you can weather the storms facing you at every turn and, really, if you don’t, who’s supposed to?

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  3. I believe there is some sort of higher power. The religion I most admire is Buddhism, but since studying Mythology in college, I am not certain if any religion is different than the other. I believe that treating others with love and kindness, and helping others is the best in life. I focus my anxiety and attention on Reading and writing. Writing is a release, a place to discuss and explain all the things that are weighing down on you.

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  4. Writing helps me, am neither religious, nor particularly spiritual in my thinking. Ordering my thoughts can calm me and use my senses to ground me in the moment and the world around me.

    If I had a faith, it’s simply hope that humanity will grow up and treat each other better. Till then, I try to observe my religion of not judging people who are hurting no one and not being an arsehole.

    Whatever works for you will only be what works for you, you’re a good man with a caring soul, if there is a deity, I’m sure he’s cool with you, no matter what someone wrote in a book. There’s thousands of religions and billions of personal faiths, your’s is whatever works for you. I know muslims, jews, a wiccan, someone who worships the norse gods and a couple of non-believers as well as christians, to be honest, the good ones are all good in the same way. Find your own path, or let it find you

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  5. Man has made God, Christianity, scary. You aren’t your sexuality, you are a Spirit, with a soul, living in a body.
    Your highest self is made to commune with your creator, and He loves you regardless of any actions, thoughts, words, or attitudes you might have.
    It is the most freeing thing, to be unconditionally loved. And it is a gift that you can never lose, ever.
    I wish you every peace, and that you find your way to knowing the love that is there for you.

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      1. “Wrong” is a relative term, and it is an accusing term. The enemy of your soul uses that word to condemn you.
        Your creator will never do that. Your peace will come, but practicing peace, rejecting condemnation takes time. It will come. Keep practicing. If you practiced martial arts for 30 years, you know how to practice a discipline in order to perfect it.
        You will find what you are looking for. 😊

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  6. I was baptised as an Orthodox Greek but don’t really practice religion and never felt comfortable with it. I feel most at peace in nature, in kindness, in treating others with respect and in treating my body well. I like Buddhism and agree with alot of what it believes in but that’s all. I would say, just do what makes you happy without feeling guilty about who you are.

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    1. Yeah, it’s that guilt thing that kinda sucks…
      I have found some peace in eastern philosophy, too. There is something that is concerned about focusing on peace and that it comes from within, rather than being imposed from outside…
      Thank you for coming by and commenting. 🙂 I appreciate it.

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  7. Look to nature and there you will find god. Some describe it as some ‘spiritual’ essence, some take the idea of a man in the sky literally. In the end god is just an explanation for nature, especially when we don’t understand it.

    When someone says something is wrong, ask what they mean. If they say because “it’s unnatural” ask them “How does it exist then?” whether something is right or wrong, doesn’t have any bearing on the fact that it’s natural. Nothing, even our cars don’t exist without nature. So ask them again, how can it exist and be ‘unnatural’ they could argue it’s morally wrong. But morals when it comes to sexuality, between two consenting adults is subjective. Even to an extent the most deplorable things man can think of, are to some extent morally subjective, however we have to come some generalised agreement that things like murdering, having sex with people who don’t consent or can’t consent is generally wrong, so we lock those people up.

    Sexuality between two consenting adults has no line we can draw, we can write a book telling us it’s wrong, but in the end if no one is hurting others then another human would be morally wrong to lock you up for it, or cause you harm for it.

    There is a scale of morality i guess, all decided by humans that can be subject to change in different situtations. Even things like murder are subject to change *think war. In some cultures things we find deplorable are readily accepted. Proving even more morality is subjective to enviroment and change.

    In this day and age with the amount of people on earth, the subjective morality on gay sex should be more relaxed. For one good reason only, we don’t need to procreate in the same numbers, there are enough of us. I believe thats where some of the disgust comes from in some circles of people. It’s a natural reacion of the deep inner pysche still held onto in our brains, some people tap into that more than others (religion seems to bolster this part of people) holding onto eras when procreation will have been seen as much more vital to the surivival of the race, so to some extent it’s about fear of the genetic line of humans ending because of the ‘gays’ which won’t happen anyway, but thats the kinda shit you hear from people who believe this shit isn’t ‘moral’ or is ‘unnatural’ again, what the fuck does unnatural even mean?! When you reall think about it, what does it even mean? It often translates to “Well it’s not natural to me so….” yea well they’re not you.

    Religion probably developed as a way to try and control sexuality. What we find is, sexuality can’t be controlled, but what can be controlled is, is having safe protected sex to 1. control population numbers to an extent (religion also tries to do this, without the condoms 😉 , they fail. Go figure 😉 ) 2. help control sexual diseases.

    Religion and a lot of other thinking, seems to have this notion that if something is externally created by us such as condoms, it’s not natural, therefore condoms shouldn’t be used to keep so we can keep it all ‘natural’ but again what is ‘not natural’?

    I don’t wish to offend anyones ‘spiritual experience’ or anyone who believes in god or whatever else, but religion is out of date. It’s a way to try and explain nature and our role in nature, when we don’t understand how it works. Science can help explain how it works.

    Like the idea of ‘good’ and ‘evil’ is subjective, it’s also a way of explaining bad and good forces of nature that can and will ruin and bless lives. For example people saying “gays cause floods” is just that primal fear that our actions can impact on the world around us and cause catastrophes. They’re hitting in on a truth, we can and do impact the enviroment, but they’ve misdirected their fear at things that don’t explain the floods, will never cause the floods etc. Religion boils down to this: It’s all about misdirected primal fears.

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      1. Some religious belief is based on truth, but then it’s either misunderstood or miscommunicated. which makes it even harder to just say “Well it’s all bullshit, false stuff”

        I think people can believe in god or be spiritual whatever your choice is and not be religious.

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      2. I just thought, depression and religion have something in common. LOL.

        What I translate ‘evil’ and ‘the devil’ and ‘hell’ as is essentially “our actions have consequences and they can be BAD!”

        Religion sees heterosexual sex and thinks “procreation = good” They see gay sex and =no procreation= bad. They also think of the negative, the potential STD’s, the procreation bit of straight sex outweighs the bad STD part, it’s worth the risk essentially. Gay sex is just pleasure, no procreation and the risk of STD’s therefore they consider it automatically just bad or evil. Thats what me think about the depression thing, seeing as I have severe depression I can sort of understand the goggles they’re wearing. If sex is just for pleasure, then it will surely be a BAD thing. Thats what it’s like with depression often, if something feels good, it’s too good to be true and surely something bad will happen?

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  8. Lots of good comments here. I have read that people who pray/ meditate are generally happier and more content even if their life circumstances are less than ideal. Perhaps that is a place to start. Rather than get hung up on doctrine, right/wrong ideology, or the like, just find things that are positive to meditate on or be grateful for. Like a beautiful sunrise or those glorious mountains you live among. Keep your spirituality simple to start with. That too is a journey to embark upon not a place to stand still within. 🙂

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  9. I consider myself a Christian man but I stopped going to church because it’s felt almost cult-ish. And I don’t necessarily agree with the churches interpretations on everything. One of my best friends came out a few years ago and that really made me think differently. He is one the nicest guys I know and he is a true friend to me, has been since high school, 10 years ago. And I know the God I learned about and felt I got close to was no God who would make a good person burn in hell for who they ultimately chose to love. As far as my spirituality, I listen to Christian music because there actually is some good Christian music out there. And I pray with my son in the morning which also teaches him to appreciate the things and people in our lives.
    I too have gone through a time when I felt lost. I prayed often and I definitely broke down and cried occasionally. That’s okay. You will find contentment and balance in your life. You may just have to get through a rough patch to find it. Keep your head up and remember that it’s okay to do what is best for you sometimes even if people around you don’t agree with it.

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    1. Thank you for stopping by and commenting. I appreciate the encouragement and kind words you offer, too. Although, I realize this time will pass, I’m looking for it to pass without draining the rest of my energy…lol…if that makes sense. 🙂

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  10. Like you I come from a Catholic family. When I married, I refused to have a religious celebration. I gave all sorts of excuses, including the fact that nowadays church weddings have absolutely no spiritual meaning. It’s a show, like a catwalk for the bride with hundreds of spectators.
    That is not a lie and I truly think that from the dozens of weddings I have been to in my life. The rest of the truth is that I have distanced myself from the church I was born and raised in simply because I cannot agree with it’s teachings. I hate exclusion. I hate discrimination.
    I have been writing about all of these issues in my so called ‘book’. Love, sexuality, religion… it’s all there!
    It may seem a joke, but I have found solace in the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It started as a way of poking fun at religion, but I like the philosophy of we accept all and you don’t have to prove or believe in anything to become a pastafarian. If not for spiritual reasons, it works for me for belonging reasons.

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    1. I think we all yearn for a sense of belonging, so I like the idea of being a pastafarian.

      See, I think weddings have become their own industry now. Just like most other things that were once wonderful, an entire industry has commercialized it to the point that it is disgusting.

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  11. I was raised in a very conservative Christian household. I even went to a Christian university, by choice. But then I fell in love with a woman. That rocked my belief system although it never shook my faith in God. Currently, I have a relationship with God where I pray and believe in his divine intervention. I don’t go to church, though, because I have a hard time revisiting organized religious functions. I’ve always felt that people are the ones who make God look bad, not the other way around.

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  12. I don’t have answers to your questions. Just want to say I relate to “feeling lost.” I deconverted from Christianity after many years of feeling fulfilled and connected to God in it. It was a combination of leaving the “gated community of the mind” and personal experiences. Now I’m in a place of searching, recovering from the excruciating crisis, finding fulfillment in other things and believing in “something more” than science can explain. It’s still difficult to fill that void, but I’m hopeful for me and you we will find the answers we’re looking for.
    Also want to say that, of all the things I was certain of when I was a believer, it was that God is love. I didn’t understand the biblical condemnations of gays – it wasn’t consistent with how I understood Him experientially. The concept of unconditional love is one of the things I take away from my Christian experience. As we continue our search for meaning and purpose, may we find validation of that love… for you are already an expression of it.
    Hugs and thanks for sharing your pain. It’s helpful to know one is not alone.

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    1. Thank you for such a heartfelt response. I have heard so many people express that God is love. It’s still something I struggle and revolve in my mind over and over. But I do have hope that by questioning it leads to a better place.

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  13. “But the greatest thing by far is to be a master of metaphor. It is the one thing that cannot be learned from others; and it is also a sign of genius, since a good metaphor implies an intuitive perception of the similarity in dissimilars.‎” ~Aristotle, “Poetics.” Jesus, Buddha, Lao Tzu, they all spoke in parable for a reason. It’s their followers who always try to create laws out of poems and turn sacredness into holiness. Explore another religion, or better yet, dive deeper into Christianity and you may find the shared heart of all sacred paths. I recommend “Inner Christianity” by Richard Smoley. Kindest regards!

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  14. I do not have all of the answers either. I was brought up Catholic, dragged to Mass every Sunday and Holy day of obligation, attended Catholic high school too. As soon as I was old enough to fake like I was going to church, I did so.

    It wasn’t until I faced a huge, life changing situation that I even knew what I felt or believed.

    Twenty seven years later, all grown up, I have learned that the quickest way for me to get back to my spiritual center is to focus on what feels like it feeds my soul. Go back and revisit a time when you felt most connected, put your feet in those tracks a little while until something moves you. It will. It always does.

    For me, that means writing. Sorry. I have probably written too much, in fact! ❤️😃

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  15. My own journey has taken many twists and turns. I started off in my childhood in a black baptist church. Fell out of that (too much praise, not enough actual practice), went to a young life group my senior year of high school (out of curiosity with why high school kids would willingly go to a bible study. Discovered something different from my previous experiences (and had a very personal one) and became a follower of the way. I say it like that because the way isn’t what most churches follow imo. In any case, spent years understanding what Christianity is supposed to be, but on the way had many interactions with other faiths (through martial arts, Taoism and Buddhism; through happenstance, Native American spirit totems and new age pagan ideas and Wicca). My beliefs as they stand are a mix of what I have experienced and found meaningful for living my life such as it is. I think that each spirituality has pieces of the truth, but not the whole thing, and if we listen and learn from each other we will draw closer.

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    1. I think I agree. There is something beautiful to be drawn on from various schools of thought, and piecing it all together I would think gives you a more stable view of life.
      Great insight! Thanks for commenting! 🙂

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      1. Namaste…. This Indian word expresses what the Christian Faith teaches, that every human being lives, because God breathed his breath, or “ruach” in Hebrew, or “spirit-wind” in English. The Bible teaches that the Holy Spirit of God gives life, breath and all things… And this is because God breathed into the first Human, His own Spirit, which quickened him. So you see my beloved friend… I believe in the Natural Law of creation and I also believe that every human being is a spark of the divine. We might not see eye to eye on everything… Well fine. You will never be able to see my perspective because you were never meant to… So my friend, I completely respect your position, but if you would have me as your follower, I would feel honored. It would give me the opportunity of seeing a divine perspective that is contrary to mine; and therefore, confirming the fact that God the Creator is constantly making an infinity of variety of types, genders, and races in everything that He makes. Shalom.

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  16. I love your question. As you know, I believe in Jesus and the fact that he died for me. I have a relationship with Jesus Christ therefore I have learnt to take all my burdens to him because he cares about me more than anybody on this earth can ever do. I found out that I tend to get discouraged quickly therefore I purposed not to have discouraging voices in my life and surround myself with people who will encourage me. People who will remind me that God will never let me down. I have set a vision and goals and there are things I want to accomplish in life therefore I focus on those. I have gotten to the place where I am able to tune out a lot of negativity. After saying all that, God first for me. He is first, then my husband second, then my kiddos then ministry. I have learnt to prioritize. I hope this helps. God bless

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      1. Christmas is a holiday. The birth of Jesus was a major event. I don’t follow the holiday. I follow the person who allowed us to have a holiday.Have you ever tried telling God exactly what you feel. For me it normally goes something like this, “God today I am really struggling . Can I just talk to you for a few minutes?” Then I tell him everything that is bothering me. I also many times thank him. He is like a friend who you can tell anything and he is not going to go talking about you. I have a question for you. Have you given your life to Jesus. I know many Catholics and i gather from many conversations some don’t believe in getting born again while others believe and they have said the sinners prayer and accepted Jesus. So which side are you?

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        1. As much as a cop out as it sounds, I have no idea how to give my life over to Jesus. I think that involves a level of faith that I do not have. Besides, it is often said in the bible that people like me are abominations…
          …I don’t know that I like that.

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          1. When God looks at you, do you think he thinks you are an abomination? Why send Jesus on earth to die for our sins?
            The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9

            For the Son of Man( Jesus) came to seek and to save the lost. Luke 19:10

            that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; Romans 10:19

            A relationship with Christ is what we all need. There are many things that Jesus can deliver us from but we have to believe in Him. Giving your life to him means you surrender. There are many things we have faith in. Forexample many people believe they will wake up tomorrow,their cars will be working in the morning etc. we all excersice a measure of faith. Regardless of what you think God says, until you know who Jesus really is, until you have a relationship with Jesus, you will not have a place to take you burdens to and feel relieved. Jesus has been and continues to be the answer to all my life issues and questions. He can be an answer to you too. When you are ready, please go to https://www.intouch.org/read/content/how-do-i-accept-jesus-as-my-savior. I am praying for you. God bless you.

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  17. I just stumbled upon this, and I love this conversation. I think I’m a little late, but maybe it can keep going. I was raised in a Christian family and community, but there was always a lot of stuff about the Bible and God that didn’t make sense to me. God didn’t feel like love. Through the course of my twenties, I found the idea of “construction, deconstruction, and reconstruction” helpful (a lot of people talk about this in different terms). We all have beliefs about life, relationships, the universe/spirituality/god, etc. Throughout our lives those are often challenged or broken, because we open our hands of them or because they are forced to be, often through hardship. I have found that when I allow my systems and beliefs to be shattered, or lost, or questioned, there is this incredibly uncomfortable space that follows. This happened for me when I stopped viewing God as a white, male, judgmental jerk, when I attempted to stop seeking my made up views of perfection, and when unspoken contracts in my marriage and family stopped working for me. The process can be crazy, but I feel like I will start to see that things in my life aren’t working, they aren’t healthy, they aren’t in line with what I believe about humanity, the universe, and redemption. I try to open my hands and release them. There is this space created then, where I have let go of an unhelpful and unhealthy system or belief, but there is so much tension because I feel like I have lost my footing. Even if we know our beliefs or systems are crap, they are often still comfortable. After that horrible discomfort though, I always rebuild something more beautiful. I went from Christian, to moderate athiest/questioner/hater of Christians (because of the judgement and pain of American cultural Christianity), to I guess what I call a “kind of Christian”. I have been so refreshed finding the United Church of Christ. They affirm diversity, and celebrate the LGBTQ community, refugees, immigrants, and women. I am learning to celebrate the tension, because that is where the growth is. And that is the perfect model for me of what the Bible is, a story of redemption and restoration, a process, a story of love, and the tension within love, grace, peace, and freedom. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JT09JbaEh_I) I have to believe that this is all going somewhere, that hate and injustice and judgement don’t have the final word. Sorry for the rant…I would love to talk more. The growth and process of all of this is super interesting to me. I have never understood why some people live into growth and riding the waves of life, change, evolution, redemption, and some fight it so strongly. Thanks for getting us thinking. All the best.

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  18. I practice Tai Chi Chuan, and its philosophy. In a way, if I were to ascribe myself a religious label, I would likely be called Unorthodox Taoist.

    In Tai Chi as its been thus taught to me, we are all human. Nobody can remain perfect forever, every strong stance has its weak angles and every weak stance has its strengths. Everything is simply as it is, and fighting the way of nature does little other than stress and tire the mind and body both.

    Spirituality truly came to me when I started to recognize and practice TaiChi in all things. As I open the door I observe the Yin and Yang, as I do anything and everything I acknowledge and know it has two poles, complementary of one another and necessary to balance.

    The challenges of my life….I find I take them and put them into my forms as I practice. When I feel stressed I meditate, through form or stagnant posture and I accept that it is okay to feel stressed, okay to feel hurt, sad, angry, incomplete, jealous, etc. All these emotions are natural, wouldn’t be felt if they weren’t. Instead of shame then, perhaps more can be gained by acceptance of what they are, expression of what they say, and release of what power they hold over you.

    Just my ramblings, hope it helped at least a little. Let me know if they did or if you have questions. 🙂

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    1. Actually, any insight to spiritual living is hugely appreciated. Having done martial arts before, I am aware of Tai Chi Chuan, and have often considered looking into it with more depth. Thank you for your comment.

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          1. Shoot me an email if you want to talk about it more, there’s a contact button at the top of my blog (don’t want to put my email out in the open). All I know is it’s helped me a lot, and I love sharing it with others who can benefit from it. 🙂 Peace.

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  19. I have always known who God was as I, too, grew up Catholic. Catholic church is easy peasy as a child right? Then, enter real life, and the Catholic church didn’t want me anymore. Oh, I could come, but I couldn’t partake of the Body and the Blood unless I did backflips to erase mistakes that were all just ritualistic and yet, backflips I didn’t think were “right”. I didn’t go to church from the age of 19 – 33. Those years consisted of hanging onto my sanity while I rode the roller coaster of life at what I believe to be the scariest part – raising children who I desire to turn out somewhat normal and functional even though I didn’t know what the hell I was doing, finishing college and working a full time job at the same time I was trying to live this life of perfectionism – burning the candle at both ends and then BAM! IN an instant I BURNED OUT. I had an affair that ended my marriage, reverted back to thinking like an immature teenager by involving myself in pointless drama to include bar hopping and sleeping around. This only lasted about three months and I hit ROCK BOTTOM. This is a very long story so I won’t go into details but just share the critical turning point. I laid in bed one night desperate for someone to fix my life and fix me – just make all the bad stuff disappear. I was lost, I was empty, I was entangled in financial troubles, I was shamed and guilt ridden over putting my 8 and 13 year old through these crazy months, and I was BROKEN. I was on my back staring at the ceiling and crying and I remembered God. I prayed three words – “God, save me.” BOY HOWDY DOO. He said, “Okay, Stacy. Hang on.” From that moment, He started working on me. I am still VERY BROKEN, but I have someone who is slowly helping me come back together. This has been 14 years now. Within months I was learning more about what a relationship with Jesus was because up until then Jesus was hanging on a cross DEAD in front of the church I went to as a child. He supposedly died to “save the world”. I learned that He is in fact ALIVE – alive as you and me are right now, and He died for ME. He wants to hang out with me and help me get that forsaken life back together. The first 5 years I was so excited and just said – Thank you Jesus, I can take it from here. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I proceeded in putting myself back together – I was in church and learning and growing in knowledge – I got this. Nope. No Sir. In one fail swoop God broke me again. Broke me hard and took a lot of people down with me. He said , “Yes, I love you, but I am going to put you back together this time the way I want to.” Look, I am one screwed up cookie, but Jesus loves me just the way that I am with all my addictions and hangups. He doesn’t expect me to become perfect overnight – in fact, this life with Jesus is a pilgrimage. The finish line doesn’t come until I lay me down to die. Religion tells broken people they can only have Jesus if they put their pieces back together – and do it quickly damn it because you are representing our church. WHATEVER. Jesus doesn’t work like that. He cleans us up in His time. I see someone – a brother or sister who acts all perfect and I know they haven’t surrendered – maybe they are saved, but they are so freaking messed up on the inside. Christianity is about broken people needing an almighty doctor – Jesus Christ. Once we can walk again, we start telling others about the Doctor. We are His aides – we should be helping each other, feeding each other, LOVING each other. So that is my spirituality. Jesus Christ – NOT RELIGION. Just Jesus. I want to lavish His love on everyone I meet. Some people reject Him – just like they did when He was alive. I can’t live without Him.

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  20. Praying the truth is revealed to you in a very crystal clear powerful way my friend. I’m so sorry you’ve struggled so much with this and can only hope you find rest in your soul eventually. I appreciate your constant encouragement and your honesty. ❤️

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  21. My first comment on wordpress outside of my own blog so hope you enjoy it stranger 🙂 : 2016 was by far the worst year of my life. Well, the first 8 months. Dealt with what I consider the “death of poker”, went from living in a $2200 condo in LA for a year to back with my parents, got a DUI and totaled my car, and then tore my ACL in Bangkok on week 2 of a 2 month trip over several countries which would end with me teaching English in Japan.

    This happened in August. It was an extremely liberating moment, though. I felt like I reached my threshold of pain, or if I didn’t realize it then and there consciously, it must have been on some subconscious level. I was wrapped in shame and simply lost in it. I realize that for the longest time I’ve had an extremely poor relationship with my-self, and have been deriving all my worth externally. I had known this for a while, but never made a conscious effort to change that relationship, so when on sapping energy from people, drinking like Hemingway, and throwing away so many amazing opportunities repeatedly.

    I’ve read several books over the last few months while going through two surgeries and physical therapy back home, but a few things that have helped me accept my past, or at least try to believe that I have accepted are as follows:

    “You are not your mind” -Eckhart Tolle. In his book he tells you to think of what your next thought is going to be. You should have a moment of no-mind. Not where your mind isn’t functioning, but when it stops and you are purely conscious to everything around you. If you are lost, you have to find yourself. Every answer lies within. But when you are within, no answers are necessary, because inner peace exists whether we choose to access it or not. Its not a simple choice, but I feel that our relationship with our-self is a relationship that requires daily conscious effort, and like our external relationships will be broken often. We go in and out of consciousness, in and out of love, in and out of our inner light and the heart of darkness, but my belief that we are ultimately the higher power; our capacity of our consciousness is what makes me Pharaoh and you Pharaoh as well. So go on Pharaoh if you are lost, look within and see what you can discover!

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    1. Wow! It sounds like you have an amazing personal story for sure.

      I have not defined a Higher Power for myself, on some level, I’m just being open to the possibility. I have found myself taking pause more often than I used to and I find that I am able to handle life a little better.

      Thank you for stopping by.

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  22. To quote myself, “Religion is the square hole in which humanity attempts to thrust the round peg of Spirituality.”

    I was raised ‘Christian’, and while the idea of God (Source/the Universe/the Great Spirit) always resonated, as did Jesus being the living expression of the Divine Within… too many things simply didn’t make sense.

    That being said, I have a Transgender friend who is happily catholic.

    *shrugs* if your faith is important to you, but the ‘religion’ is chafing… pray, meditate, keep seeking until you find what works for you.

    I’ve been through this painful journey. I wish you the best!

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Creating a period of time in eternity is a miracle in itself. This little planet of ours is a mere blip within the universe around us. The engineering of every living thing on this planet and the means to sustain that life is beyond our ken. The only explanation as far as I am concerned is that we are living in the presence of a powerful deity, the creator of all things. The big question is WHY? This powerful creator of all, must wish to communicate the WHY. As a catholic I believe He is doing just that through the bible, The word of our God (through man) is a guide for our eventual return to whence we came. Therein lies peace. God Bless.

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