QFMR: False Anonymity?

Being online and Anonymous, is it real?

I think there are many of us that find some safe place on the internet to discuss those things that we are not open about in real life.Β  There is this idea that being online with a username that does not identify us gives us that chance to appreciate the hidden recesses of our minds and hearts. For example, I am quite open about my sexuality online. I feel safe discussing my sexual experiences with men and women, the limited cross-dressing I have done, and the implications my life has on my mental health. There is only one other place I have felt completely comfortable mentioning things and that has been in therapy; but even then, there are times that I have been reserved. Many of us feel safe discussing marriages, relationships, infidelities (for some), sexual desires and experiences. Some of us let out the demons that possess our minds, express our darkest thoughts, our most profound secrets. And all of this is done with respect to the anonymity we feel among strangers.

So, it made me wonder a few things, and I would like to open the discussion up to readers to explore this idea some:


  1. Do you take comfort in the anonymity of WordPress?
  2. Do you feel safe from fear of judgement?
  3. Are there some things you express here that you don’t express in real life?
  4. How anonymous do you think the internet really is?

24 thoughts on “QFMR: False Anonymity?”

  1. 1. Yes, I do.
    2. Yes, I do. And if someone criticizes or judges, I can say, “Fuck off!”, and then completely rid them from my life with the click of a mouse. Real life should be that easy.
    3. To anyone but my wife, and a handful of near life-long friends, yes.
    4. Not as anonymous as I convince myself it is. But why would someone really go the trouble of prying about who I really am. Honestly, I’m not that important. πŸ˜ƒ

    Liked by 2 people

  2. ahh great post. I am still struggling with this being so new to blogging and really struggling with my confidence. I started the blog to try and gain confidence in my writing but have been writing more personal entries that touch on mental health. I literally wrote a post and hour ago going into more detail about my own mental health issues but deleted it because of feeling so pathetic! (I am having a bad day, granted) but I wish I had the confidence to publish it and under my real full name and with a photo of me in the about section but I can’t even publish it being more a less anonymous 😁 Suppose in answer to your questions, to a certain extent I take comfort in having anonymity but I don’t feel fully safe from fear of judgement (its more thinking, what if someone I know happens to read it) I think so far with my blog everything I’ve expressed I’m comfortable talking about in real life but like I said I wrote a more detailed piece on my mental health and deleted it so…πŸ™ and in answer to your last question I think I am quite untrusting of the internet and believe its not as anonymous or safe as I think but I can recognise that is more just fear of the unknown. Sorry for the rant but your post has actually helped me massively being able to get that out. It has been an issue on my mind since starting my blog so thank you!!! ✌️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. First of all, I think it takes courage to write what you wrote here. It’s a brave thing to do to admit insecurities, because you’re not hiding them when you admit them.

      Secondly, I have my own mental issues and I have found tremendous comfort on here and I encourage you to take it at your pace and do what you feel comfortable doing. And if you see what my friend, sonofabeach, wrote about deleting people? You can do the same, it’s your blog, you can dictate who you allow on and who you want comments from.
      Anyways, I look forward to hearing more from you and I hope you find the peace I have found here.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Aw that has really touched me thank you so much. I will definitely take your advice of taking it at my own pace and sonofabeach’s comment was actually very helpful too. Thank you again and I look forward to reading more of your stuff βœŒοΈπŸ’›

        Liked by 1 person

  3. The anominity is false; if I wanted to find you, I could and without using Google to do it since my degrees are in the very technologies that makes the Internet work.

    WordPress does a fair job of protecting identities but if you wanna see how good, go Google the name of your blog and tell me what you find.

    #1 – No, I know better; again I know how it all works and how it can be circumvented
    #2 – Yes, because I don’t care what others think that’s negative and judgmental.
    #3 – Nope, not at all; I’m the same on here as I am in person.
    #4 – It isn’t; there is just too much available information to guarantee an anonymous existence. The best way to be anonymous is to never use the Internet but since we live in an Information Age, some system somewhere and connected to the Internet knows about you anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. 1. – Definitely.
    2 – I am still me… someone who cares too much what people think of me. So, I do still fear judgement. But I have not encountered any truly horrible people. Well, maybe one mildly bad one…
    3 – I express a LOT here that I don’t express to anyone else ever anywhere. It’s one of the reasons I started blogging in the first place.
    4 – I really don’t know how anonymous I truly am but I don’t think much about it. The main reason for my anonymity was always to be able to say anything without worrying if my family was reading… or other people in my offline life. It’s a separate place for me where I can say and do things I can’t (or think I can’t) offline. Plus, I am somewhat paranoid. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I can’t remember the order now on my iPad but here goes.

    1. I don’t believe the Internet is anonymous at anything and like a previous commenter said – everything can be found and everything is permanent.

    2. I don’t give a rat’s tiny ass about the judgement of others. It’s my life, I’ll live it as I please.

    3. I am exactly the same in person as you read on my blog. I spent too many years of my young life being ashamed and afraid. Fuck that.

    4. I gave up the anonymous/avatar sometime into my first blog. I didn’t like it. I’m me and I won’t pretend to be anything else. Deal with or don’t.

    Liked by 1 person

          1. I don’t ever try to, but I don’t bend to what others think I should and that presents it’s own set of challenges, my friend.

            I’m not willing to loose me to find some phony acceptance.

            Liked by 1 person

            1. I’m struggling with that at the moment. Setting healthy boundaries are not going very well at the moment. But, I’m also tired of trying to please someone that is habitually miserable. I’m about to let it all go.

              Liked by 1 person

              1. Hold tight, my friend!! I had to live my entire youth dancing to the tunes others played. It wasn’t so much that I didn’t want to dance; it was that my tune was NEVER allowed to be played.

                You are much better at setting boundaries than you think. We all are. It’s just that evil voice of FEAR that whispers in our ears telling us we won’t make it. Fear’s a liar and a cheat.

                We do make it. We survive. We learn. We change. And we grow into who we are supposed to be. Nothing has been a waste of time – everything has led you to this moment.

                You are only capable of making YOU happy. That was the hardest thing for me to learn, T. I thought it was my job to make everyone else around me happy and I always felt like I was failing.

                Then I got it. It’s NOT MY JOB at all. It’s theirs. It’s only my job to love and encourage their efforts.

                It’s probably why so many relationships fail – we’ve been taught to look to someone else to make our ‘happily ever after’ for us and then drop our responsibility right in their laps.

                I’ve grown to believe that as adults who’ve seen everything laid out before us; we have the ability and responsibility to choose and fashion our own happy.


                1. Rita, I read this comment and the re-read it several times this weekend. I agree with every word you write here, it appeals to a very basic side of my personality. Unfortunately, I’ve buried and suppressed it and I hear it calling out to me to come out.
                  Thank you for this. β€πŸŒΈπŸ™‚

                  Liked by 1 person

                  1. T, you are a fabulous human being. It’s always seemed to me that the greatest and most difficult battle of our lives is the one to be our authentic selves. It always seemed like there were troops of people lined up to challenge whatever side of my person they didn’t agree with.

                    Liked by 1 person

  6. 1. I do not hide behind anonymity with my personal blogs. πŸ™‚ I even share them on facebook.
    2. People are going to judge you whatever you do, so it really doesn’t matter does it?
    3. I am the type that will always try to work through things on my own. I occasionally share something with those closest to me, but usually only after I have worked out most of it by myself. It is not out of fear of being judged or anything. It’s just what works best for me. As it is simply not in my character to share too much, I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing this on a blog whether it would be anonymous or not.
    4. If people really want to find out whose blog it is, they will find a way. So internet is only anonymous to a certain extent I guess.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Fantastic post! I’m anonymous here but I’m also the real me. Probably doesn’t make sense but I let it all out here. My name is the only thing that isn’t real. I protect myself from family & co-workers here seeing as I blog about them so much. I don’t feel judged at all. I’ve met some amazing friends here including you πŸ’™

    Liked by 1 person

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