My anxiety is setting in, but I stood up for myself today. I talked to my S.O. on the phone today and she asked me if I could leave work early on Friday. I explained that I didn’t think it was a good idea, because I felt like I have been taking a lot of time off. Instantly I received a negative attitude and I when I tried to continue the conversation, I received some passive aggression. So I expressed I would call later and hung up. The following text message occurred:
Her: Fuck off, you’re always just waiting for me to be upset so you can go fuck around, so tell me who is she, that keeps you in Wyoming? Why haven’t you already found an apartment for you both? Make sure your realtor doesn’t send me your emails about houses you want to see
Me: You’re so supportive. It’s amazing what a supportive wife you have been for the past 20 years.
Her: What a supportive husband you have been, other women and when that stopped depression for 10+ years, then drinking and now absenteeism . Don’t Fucken judge me
Me: I’ll be happy to talk with you about our situation Friday night, but I won’t tolerate being accused of cheating, nor accused of not being supportive of you any further.
Me: Until then, don’t call me unless it’s something I am actually capable of handling.
Her: You started with the accusations
Her: When you apologize for you r behavior then we can have a conversation
Me: I said nothing to you. You got bent because I’m not rushing home on Friday. You sent me the text accusing me of fucking around, another insinuation that I am not trying to get home, etc. All I did was respond to it by mocking your “support”.
Me: I’m done apologizing for your behavior.
I have not heard back from her, but tonight I have finally had enough. I do everything I can to make her happy. I’ve sacrificed my own beliefs, the things I enjoy and what I live about myself to make her happy. I’m even looking for jobs at home, so she can be happy, but it’s not happening soon enough for her.
I’m tired, I’m hurting, and I am at my breaking point.