My Dilemma…

Obviously, I have not been posting as much as I normally do. It has a lot to do with major directions in front of me right now. It’s difficult for me to make the decision, because I am really not sure what I want to do or what the best course of action might be. So, I’m going to point out the decisions that are possible and what I think are the pros and cons surrounding each decision. Then, if you would all be so kind, I’d love to hear your insight:

Decision 1: Quit my current job and move home.

Pros: I can go back to what I am familiar – Colorado and the Denver- metro area. I would be home with my family and it would make people at home more comfortable was th me there.

Cons: There is no guaranteed income. I was out of work for almost 13 months, after being laid off for the oil and gas industry, and I have already been looking for work back home and having no luck in the past 4 months that I have been working in Wyoming. This would not be a very sustainable situation, in spite of the fact that I can find low paying jobs to scrape by. Ultimately, I know it would impact me, and my family, negatively before long.

Decision 2: Remain with the job I got and stay the course.

Pros: The compensation is great. I receive right at a six figure income and all of my health benefits are paid for by the company, plus I am able to invest in a 401(k) and the company matches up to 6% and I am fully vested after three years. There is huge opportunity for growth, since this operation is a startup to break into the U.S. market for a European Compnay. I have the chance to grow with this company.

Cons: It requires I relocate from Colorado to Wyoming – boring central Wyoming. Another drawback is that my wife is refusing to go and none of my kids want to move either.  My wife has already stated that if I keep this job, I’ll be doing it alone. Granted, there have been times when she has flirted with the idea of moving, but to her it means leaving my two oldest kids behind (they are adults). And even as I write this, it was interrupted by a phone call telling me how much I’d rather be here than with her…sigh….

Anyways, I also don’t find myself stimulated on an intellectual level. It’s challenging in other ways, but there is something missing for me…Granted, it might be moral support, but something is missing.

Decision 3: I’ve just received an offer from an engineering consulting company that serves the pharmaceutical industry.

Pros: It allows me the chance to see a different industry. Since, the position is a Project Manager, then I will be able to list that as a credential on my resume. The position will have me commute to L.A. every week Mon – Fri and home on weekends for about a year. After the year, I’ll be home and assigned to an office in Colorado.

Cons: Their offer is less compensation than the company I am currently working at. For example, there is no retirement fund, insurance is covered at half the rate I am able to get in the insurance market place, and the pay is $10,000/yr. less than I am making now. This job will also require me to start on Tuesday and I won’t be able to give a customary 2 week notice for resignation.

Decision 4: Stay with the job in decision 2, but continue to look for work at home.

Pros: Essentially the same as decision 2, with the caveat of finding a job at home means I get what I want.

Cons: The same as decision 2.

This has weighed on my mind pretty heavily and I am frustrated that I’m not getting any direction from my wife on what would make her happy. She seems to think that everything would be okay, if I just did decision 1, but we have so many bills, it’s not feasible.

I know what direction I am leaning right now, but I am not sure what is best. I’m kind of curious what you all might think.



25 thoughts on “My Dilemma…”

  1. T, I don’t even know how I’d begin to give anyone such advice. First, I’m sorry that you are feeling the weight of this alone. You really must follow your heart on this one though; YOU are the one who will have to do the work. EVERYDAY.

    I can only tell you what I’ve done. In the past 35 years of life in corporate America, I’ve walked away when I was no longer able to give my best to the commitment I’d made to the organization when I signed on.

    In 1995, I left a position and turned down an subsequent offer because I KNEW neither would work for me long term. Everyone in my family and circle of friends thought I’d lost my mind because of what they viewed as a great opportunity. It wasn’t great for me.

    While money is most definitely a factor – I have refused to let it be the deciding one for me. I’d rather adjust my lifestyle than commit a third of my life to anything that didn’t inspire, challenge and motivate me. It’s too damned much of my life. It’s precisely why I just walked away from a decade long relationship with an organization that took more than it gave.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, well, either job has the tendency to not inspire me much. I feel like the L.A. job would be a higher commitment for less pay. But the job in Wyoming doesn’t appeal to my intellect as much as previous jobs I held, but I do believe there is huge opportunity for me.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. And that ain’t nothing. It seems there was always a plateau to be walked while making the way to next rung. Perhaps that’s the time to be spent learning and growing on a personal level while continuing to sharpen the current skill set.

        Growth necessary to meet the opportunity I suppose.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Decision 3 sounds intriguing, simply because it allows you the normalcy of home while still making a decent salary. Remember, you were out of work for a long time prior to this, so it may be less than what you have now, but a whole lot better than what you had a few months ago.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I also can’t begin to figure out which is the right decision for you and your family. Having been in this situation a few times though, I get it. When the economy tanked I lost my job and my husband was interviewing three states away in a state where things were a lot brighter than in the Midwest. I was so pissed that he’d even consider this without asking me first and we fought for two years about it. I was also adamant that I wouldn’t go but here I am. We are more financially stable but I miss my family and friends back home. The plan is for this tombs temporary but things are fluid right now. Also we don’t have kids so that makes a difference. None of that probably helped, sorry, but before I agreed to go he and I sat down and weighed all the pros and cons and it made sense to move due to the stability. Good luck with whatever you decide.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Aah I hate decisions so I dont envy you. I have just recently made the scariest decision ever, to start my own company, as you may/may not know. Just a small company by myself that is, (no employees). I had thought about this decision for years before I dared to do it. But now that the decision is made, it is like a ton is lifted off my shoulders. I think the worst place for us humans to be, is in a limbo of undecisiveness and uncertainty. That said I know how hard these things can be. I do not envy you but I hope you can find some sort of sign or feeling to guide you right. I think once the decision is made you will feel some relief (at least relief about not having this “decide, decide, decide!” hanging over you). Best of luck, friend! ⚘

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Holy wow. Lots to consider here. My take is stay with your current job and continue your search for something close to home with equivalent benefits. It may take some time but I know that I would feel better earning more, and having great health insurance benefits and 401k. Maybe take the time while you’re in Wyoming to explore some new hobbies, catch up on you’re reading list or spend more time writing, which you’re really good at! Whatever you end up doing, trust that you’re making the best decision for you & your family and don’t look back! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

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