BYJ: Day 18 – Have a Comeback

This entry into my Beautiful You Journal is supposed to be focused on coming up with various comebacks to negative things I hear about myself or my body image.  I have to be honest, because most of the things that affect me are the things that are said directly with spite. For some reason, I don’t know that I pick up back-handed comments so well, and the ones that I do pick-up I look at and try to change.  I also struggle with this, because I feel like my comebacks are hurtful to those that I use comebacks towards.

And then when I think about it, I used to use with and sarcasm to make my point that I didn’t like something that was said, but after years of being told how wrong I am without the other person looking at their own actions towards me, I think I have convinced myself that I am always in the wrong.  How does one come with these comebacks?  How does one use the skill they once thought was a perfect way to respond to people’s negativity but have spent so much time changing themselves to suit…

Oh crap…

That’s it?!?!  I should (damn, I really hate the word “should”) have never changed who I am, if I knew that I was not doing anything wrong…

Maybe I need to re-develop my wit and realize that I am not everything I have heard about myself. But this might take some time and some creativity.


12 thoughts on “BYJ: Day 18 – Have a Comeback”

  1. I’m glad that your looking at this. We all need to look at how we respond to other people’s negativity. I’ve tried to remind myself that the reason that people are saying something nasty is because they are fearful or in pain. I saw a friend recently that I hadn’t seen for about 20 years. When I saw him, he went on about how I had aged. It wasn’t very subtle. I realize that he’s afraid of growing older and he’s projecting that stuff on to me. I didn’t say anything back. It hurt my ego a little, but I’m glad I didn’t retaliate.

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    1. Yeah, it’s an odd place to be. I realize the author of this book I’m reading wants you to come up with a comeback that builds positivity, but I have to admit, my first inclination is to respond with my own pain and hurt. I’m truly going to have to find a creative way to do these sorts of things.

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  2. Thanks for sharing. There are a number of ways I deal with negative comments.
    1. I ignore them. I am comfortable with who I am. If there is something I need to change I will.
    2. I Normally take negative comments as an indicator that someone may be having a bad day. This has been the most effective so far.
    3. I believe many lack wisdom in how they say something therefore it sounds negative but it really was not meant to. The person has no wisdom.
    4.There are others who simply lack self control so they say whatever.
    5. I have also learnt to magnify positive statements over negative ones. I could have a day going so well then someone says something negative, I have purposes in my life to not allow the negatives to become louder than the positives.
    some of the negatives comments given are from people who know very little about me therefore they mostly don’t bother me. But of course it has been a journey full of prayer and reading the Word of God to get here.

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    1. There was a time when I ignored most things. I’ve always had the philosophy that there are 2 people in the world – those who love you and those who do not; so ignore the people who don’t love you. I think my problem is that I know some people that love me, but don’t say loving things. Does that make sense?

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      1. Yes. I have a relative who says some stuff that is negative. I have learnt to look at him and not allow what he says define who I am. I have also come to a place where I look at him and realize he is also on a journey. I do not allow any negatives said about me to stick with me. They go to the garbage can. I realized a while back that if I allow some of these things to affect me, I will not move forward. And also through the years, God has worked on me. I used to cry over so many things. Sometimes I look back and laugh. I used to be very sensitive over everything. Now, I have the attitude of say what you have to say but I gotta do what I was created to do. As I said, it is a journey. I am not there yet but I am not who I used to be.

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          1. Lol Thank you. The bible says that the power of life and death is in the tongue. The day I understood this scripture, I started speaking positive things into my life and refusing negative things spoken to me. I do not even speak negative things about myself, my marriage nor my kids. I believe if I have to make an impact in my generation, I cannot afford to let negative stuff take a hold of me. I have seen first hand what negative words can do.

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  3. Sometimes the best response is no response at all. Maybe? Does the author say anything about that? Like just smile and shrug it off? Because its really their problem, not yours. Or is it better to make a positive response so as to make them think a little about what they said? I don’t know. It seems to me, some negative people don’t even deserve a response and/or a response wouldn’t make any difference to them anyway. And sometimes even a positive response can escalate the conversation anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. There is one person I know, that any response is an instant escalation. I’ve learned to just shut-up. But that can build up over time too.

      The author’s intention is to call attention to the negative comment in a positive way.

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