BYJ: Day 13 – Define Beautiful

I’m continuing reading he book Beautiful You, and I am now on Day 13 (I should be like day 21 or so, but I’m slow, so cut me some slack…) and it is focused on defining Beauty of Beautiful.  The author explains that she has worked with other women on the concept of Beautiful and routinely finds that most women do not define beautiful to be some exterior characteristic, but define it to be several internal personality traits (these are my words, summarizing the author’s). She goes on to discuss that every single one of these women would not call themselves beautiful, regardless of the fact that they had several instances where they displayed the characteristics of beauty that they defined.

Today’s task fot the Journal entry is for me to define Beautiful. For me, I have always seen beauty as a dual characteristic of physical and emotional beauty. To me, to be beautiful, you have to have the internal personality characteristics because they impact the external or physical characteristics. There are women that are physically beautiful, but their personalities can easily destroy the perception. To me, it’s because the real beauty comes from within and it has to be there before anything else. I have always found confidence to be beautiful, compassion to be beautiful, thoughtfullness to be beautiful, kindness to be beautiful, joyfulness to be beautiful, and other characteristics as well. I have found that people that are confident, kind, compassionate, and joyful to be the most attractive – or beautiful – people I have ever met.

And I’m going to stop here, because it is taking everything in me, at this moment to keep Hilda from speaking. I struggle with all of the concepts I just listed and I know I want to be back in that mindset.


9 thoughts on “BYJ: Day 13 – Define Beautiful”

  1. Sounds like Hilda needs to be bitch-slapped. Thanks to The Temptations, we know that beauty is only skin deep but ugly is deep to the bone and, yes, this was mainly sing about women and a “warning” to never judge anyone by what you see but to look further and deeper to find those qualities that can also be called beautiful.

    Women, more than men, seem to have a lot of image issues; I’ve seen knock-down, dead gorgeous women who, in their minds, lack that outer beauty that’s so highly prized but it’s their humility, borne out of this disbelief that allows their true beauty to shine through… or can make them some very bitter and cynical creatures.

    I’ve seen plain, homely and, yes, even “ugly” women (as judged by our prejudiced standards) who possess an inner beauty that would shame the most beautiful women in the world… or their looks can also make them very bitter and cynical.

    It’s not that men don’t have these issues as well; some of us will go to great lengths to improve our outer beauty as much as possible but not do a whole lot about our inner beauty, which along with certain women, only serve to reveal and reinforce a fact we tend to overlook as insignificant, that is, just because it looks good doesn’t mean that it is good. The standards of beauty for us is that chiseled chin, dark, piercing eyes,none six-pack abdominal structure and, yes, a nice tight ass along with a very long and thick cock.

    And there are a lot of men who meet and/or exceed these standards that are also bona fide assholes, self-centered narcissists that few people can tolerate. Their fantastic looks drives their confidence and that confidence – even a kind of inherent cockiness – makes them pretty damned ugly where it counts. The most beautiful guys I’ve ever met are those men that most women wouldn’t even speak to, let alone spend any time looking at.

    Not only do we have to look at each other with better eyes, we must look at ourselves in this way as well but you, my friend, as well as many others, struggle with being able to do this or, really, to get back to seeing yourself as beautiful even if that beauty isn’t reflected in the outside where it can be seen by one and all.

    In this, we must look toward the quality of what we are – what kind of person are we, what kind of person do we want to be, what traits can we display that, even for us alone, best displays one’s inner beauty – and then we can only hope that there will be others who can look at us with better eyes and see that inner beauty.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. This is pretty bad… but I’m going to admit it anyway. Every time I see someone list ‘confidence’ as a trait that they think is beautiful or that they want in a partner, I get a heavy feeling in my chest and almost start to cry (well, sometimes I do cry). Because I have little confidence. Very little. And this seems to be on the top of the list for everyone on earth. (I feel similarly about ‘happy’…) So I feel that I muse be attractive to no one on earth.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think the reasoning for that is because everyone knows that a confident person isn’t going to do the things that are vile. They recognize that a confident person is secure in themselves and don’t need to hurt others in any way to make themselves feel better.
      I know I lack confidence in a major way, too, but I also think that it is something we can strive to be. Sometimes, people like you and I look for validation from others to make us feel good about ourselves (Maybe that’s not true for you, but it certainly is for me), so it’s important to go through a process of identifying what we like about ourselves… for example, maybe some of us need to own being a “genius”. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’ve got to disagree that a confident person is not going to do vile things. I’ve seen that first hand. I suppose the argument could be made that they must not really be confident. I don’t know. In that case, there are very few truly confident people.

        I do admit that I look for validation from others. But you know… everyone sees this as such a negative horrible thing… and I don’t. Maybe I do this too much… But every single person I know seeks validation from others. Who wouldn’t? Everyone wants to be noticed and loved and to have others see great things in them.

        Maybe I’m just really negative… but I’ve been trying to gain confidence by various means for about 20 years. So far, no success. There’s only so long I can beat my head against a wall.

        Being very smart (genius… well, I’m no Sheldon Cooper, but…) is one of the few things I am very confident about. I never worked to be smart… I never had to. It’s just part of me. Same thing with many creative avenues. I can just do things.

        I just cannot shake lonely. And doing so would require… not being lonely… which involves other people. Oh, you (or someone in general) will say I need to learn to be happy enough with myself that I’m not lonely no matter who is or isn’t in my life. I have no idea what that means! I have plenty of people in my life who love me. Husband, kids, extended family, a few friends… but… even when I’m with any or all of them, I’m lonely.

        Anyway… I’m sorry I hijacked your post! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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