Today’s topic is based on vision – what I might see for myself and my life. The questions asked this time are:
What is your vision for yourself? What do you wish or want for yourself? How is that different from who you are or where you are today? What do you think would make you feel more confident?
Honestly, I stopped imagining what I wanted for my life a long time ago. I suppose on some level, I converted my thinking from one of desire to one of figuring things out for survival. Answering what I want for myself is excruciatingly difficult, because it means I’ll develop expectations for myself and I’m afraid of being disappointed by not meeting those expectations. Years ago, I pursued what I wanted and what I desired only to find out that it would become a burden to me. That burden was because it wasn’t aligned with someone else’s view of life.
I’m pausing…the reality of what I am saying is hitting me and it’s not comfortable. I’m realizing I have up n what I wanted for myself…
I suppose, my vision in one that most anyone would want: to find love, happiness, a sense of purpose in life. I’ve discussed before (Essentially the intro to this blog…), that I struggle with a sense of purpose, but my vision has me living a life with intent. I find that is a source of confidence that is natural. I also struggle with relationships – namely my own value in relationships – so, my vision has me in a relationship where both myself and whomever I am with are passionate about one another, supportive of one another and fulfilling to one another. I think happiness will flow from these two things, naturally.
I also see myself as healthy, in shape, and physically appealing to others. It seems shallow, but I want to feel attractive. There was a time when I felt I turned a few heads, but now I don’t think I do. But more importantly, I want to feel healthy, I want to love a life of activity, like I once did. I want to think that I’m making choices that are healthy and geared towards a good life.
I believe if I had all of this, I would be confident.