Remember when I expressed frustration about my job situation? Remember when I was feeling so anxious about my new job taking me to Europe? Well, I leave in 3 days – that’s right, in about 72 hours I will be at the airport in Denver and ready to take on a new adventure. I’m excited today about this opportunity, because today I feel like I have to live each moment like it is the last moment I have. I don’t want to squander it, and I feel like I have been spending so much time worrying about so many things I don’t need to worry about. I am feeling a sense of wonder and AWE (Today’s Writing Prompt, by the way)!
That’s right, I feel a sense of awe. I never thought in a million years I would ever be out of the U.S.A. I came from a pretty poor family – grew up in a trailer park and the whole white-trash works of it all, so the idea of having an important job and the ability to travel with work always seemed to be a far off fantasy. My family were blue collar type workers, my parents worked overtime like crazy to support my family, both of my parents came from fairly humble backgrounds too. And the reality is that I am the only one of my siblings to have graduated college (Until recently; I had a brother earn an associate’s degree a month ago), and only two of us even graduated high school. The idea of anyone in my family being successful seemed as fantastical as going to Europe. I did what others told me (This is a common theme in my life – living up to others’ expectations – but I’ll leave that topic for another post some time), while growing up, so I was able to see successes early on in life. Granted, I
have stumbled along the way am stumbling along the way, but I can see positive today for the first time in a long time.
Now, I have the chance to do something I had only dreamed about growing up, and I shouldn’t (There is that word again…someday I really will “should” all over myself) be scared. I am though, but today it simply feels like a nervousness and I have always believed that being nervous simply meant you cared. Sure I have traveled within the USA before, but I have never been out of the country and then to go to someplace like Europe seems like a huge adventure to me. I’m sure it’s old hat for a lot of people, but for me, this “kid” that grew up in a mobile home park, it is probably going to be one of the top 5 things I have ever done in my life. And I am feeling stoked today.
I’m not going to lie, I do have some negative forces working against me (Some of you that have followed my blogs are probably well aware of one of those forces, if not all of them), but I am ignoring them today. This time it is about me and it is about me being able to be my best. I feel a sense of pride today and I feel so happy that I am light on my feet (Okay, that is NOT a reference to my sexuality, got it?) and I feel like twirling around in a circle. It’s exciting and I want to be excited…
Yes, that is it I WANT to be excited!
It’s true, this is for work, so I won’t get much of a chance to truly visit and enjoy like a tourist. On the other hand, I will have one weekend there all to myself, and I am going to be one happy little person (Strange…I almost typed something else…) getting to sight see and visit some of the things nearby the hotel I’ll be staying at. I am truly feeling blessed today and I have a smile on my face! I almost snapped a picture and put it in here.
I AM IN AWE!