So, I have nothing to write about, really.
So, I’m forcing this matter slightly, but I’m starting to think I have become a boring person. I’m not sure if it’s my age,. my mental health, my relationship, my other non-exciting stuff or what, but I have mentioned I am running into not feeling like I have a purpose. And as I look at the themes and topics of other blogs, I find myself wondering what I can do to make mine more interesting and applicable to those who read it.
The truth of the matter is that I’m sick of my mental health. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’m being derogatory towards myself, but I am finding myself thinking that all I do is whine and bawl like a little baby, so maybe what I really need to do is to NOT concentrate on the negative aspects of my life (For crying out loud, I’ll be in Europe in a week and I should be one happy bitch because of it!) and begin focusing on positive things. I mean, if I want to change, then I should try and incorporate that change in different places in my life, right? So, now I’m looking at my blog and thinking that I need to write about something interesting too.
Honestly, every time I find myself becoming an expert in some topic, I go on a retreat and destroy every word I write and put out there for others to see. I’m not even sure how many total blogs I have started, but I am wanting to do something meaningful, and I’m not quite sure how/where to begin on something. Am I going to be known as the bisexual guy that is uncomfortable with himself? What about being the guy that whines about the job he has? Am I going to be just another so-called expert in failed relationships? Aren’t there a kazillion blogs about mental health, depression and anxiety? Will I be that person that used to live life but stopped and is now an expert on everything that happened in the dark effing ages?
This gets me to thinking about life, in general. Where did I lose my purpose? When did I forget what was important to me? When did I lose passion for things? I can’t help but think that there has to be passion involved in purpose. When you love something, you become somewhat of an authority in that particular aspect of life. It’s interesting that the people that can teach us the most about something are the people that love it the most – whatever that “it” might be. We tend to pay attention to the people that have a deep understanding of something, because their passion about it tends to get us excited about it. It’s inspirational, motivational, and pulls at us to do more.
Well, that’s what I would be interested in having: Passion.
Passion = Purpose!