Flirting is something I have never felt like I was any good at, although, I have had plenty of people tell me I was natural. I tend to be a friendly person and have a knack for making people laugh (Okay, I realize some of my posts are somewhat dark and it’s hard to believe happiness falls out of me, but I was truly happy once…and I’m working on it all the time now) and I have had people tell me they enjoy being around me. But I never knew how to flirt with people. What I always thought was me being jovial, happy and friendly is what others have told me was flirting.
And to be the recipient of flirting? Yeah, that’s like having a fat kid eat a vegetables. I don’t understand how it works. I’ve never been able to tell when someone is flirting with me and when they are just being nice. There is something nice about it, I’m sure, but I have not been able to distinguish it from friendliness. And rather than make a jackass out of myself by assuming something was flirting, I always played coy.
Sometimes I think about it, in terms of my sexuality. It was always difficult for me to tell when a girl was interested in me, but there is something about a guy that is quite obvious (a tightening of the crotch in a pair of jeans is a good sign). I’m not even sure if any flirting ever occurred in some of my situations. And come to think of it, I can’t even remember what led to any of the love-making that I ever engaged – regardless of it being a guy or a girl. It’s been so long, since I have been dating that I’m afraid I wouldn’t know what to do anymore if the situation ever presented itself. Sometimes I wonder, if it would be nice to be flirted with now, but then again, I doubt I would be able to tell.