I’m looking for a new job. I wasn’t fired or let go, but I can’t find happiness doing it. I have some major negativity attached to it right now. I’m doing well, my boss seems impressed, people are beginning to see my value, but I just have this aversion to leaving my home town and this job will require it. And, I’m not so sure I’m excited about traveling anymore, which leads me to experience the anxiety I mentioned before now.
I also mentioned a few other posts ago, that I needed to make a decision and I listed three things I needed to do. Well, I decided to pursue option #2, which is to continue in this job until I can find work back home. I’ve had a few phone calls, but nothing that’s going to happen before I take this trip. I had one potential offer, but it was going to involve a relocation to L.A. and I wasn’t interested in that either. I just want to have a job back home, and I really am not wholly concerned about the pay – the benefits are absolutely necessary for me, however.
But nothing is going to happen before this trip. It looks like I’m going in a couple of weeks, and I find myself wishing something could happen that would give me a better option for myself. I hate that. I hate the worry and wishing. Acceptance seems to be my bane. And I just don’t know how to get to a position where negative thinking does not enter my mind. I despise negative thinking, anyways, so I have no idea why I do it.