I got a pedicure this weekend. It had been a while and my feet were beginning to look like I belonged in a zoo. It was horrifying to see the claws that were growing from my toes. But I got a deluxe pedicure, so I got the whole treatment on my feet. Now my toenails are trimmed, treated, and my skin is ultra soft. It makes me feel…I don’t know, just incredible. I love being pampered like this.
I began getting pedicures many years ago, but I have never made it very routine. I did it whenever the mood struck me and I felt the need to do it this weekend. I wouldn’t mind doing it regularly, but sometimes I think about other things. I know there are other guys that do this from time to time, because the truth of the matter is that it is GOOD foot care. But I tend to like the whole pampering that goes along with it. Sometimes, I get a manicure to go along with it, and those feel amazing too, but not nearly as amazing as getting the pedicure.
Every once in a while, the lady that does my pedicure will offer to put polish on my nails. Usually, I refuse; but this time, I considered it slightly longer than normal. She offered a light blue color to put on my toes, and I smiled and considered it and shook my head in refusal. Then she picked up a deep red – almost a maroon color – and she smiled at me and said, “You would look good in this color.” Again, I paused and I thought about it for a moment. But I declined, thanking her for the suggestion. It would have put a distinct feminine characteristic to my freshly pedicured toes, as well as my nicely shaven legs, but for some reason, I felt I should stop where I am.
You see, I have learned to appreciate the fact that I have a certain feminine side to my personality. I like it. I feel good about it. I used to hate it, I used to hate when people would say, “You’re such a girl” or anything similar. But one day, I thought to myself, “Why should a girl – or woman, for that matter – feel any shame in being ‘a girl’?” It didn’t make any sense to me. So, I quit taking that as an insult and began just appreciating that there is some things about me that I feel okay being male, and there are something about me that I feel okay feeling feminine.
I’ve never thought I would ever change my gender, because I kinda like my penis right where it’s at. But I have enjoyed certain things that are stereo-typically assumed to be feminine. I enjoy manicures and pedicures. I’ve enjoyed shaving my legs when I’ve done it (in all fairness, I do this sporadically, so it’s more like a treat than a chore), I’ve enjoyed getting flowers from time to time, I’ve enjoyed being included as “one of the girls” among other women (thought this hasn’t happened as much as I would like), and other things. However, I also enjoy those things that are stereo-typically reserved as manly things; such as, drinking beer, lifting weights, watching sports, camping, fishing, etc., etc.
I’ve never been confused about my gender, because I refer to myself as “male” in almost everything I do. And I can’t actually come close to passing with a feminine look. But there have been times in my life, where I felt guilty for feeling feminine about certain things. And there are times that I had done things that were feminine, that I have wondered if it were right or wrong. The truth of the matter is that I really like my masculine side, but I also really like when given the freedom to explore my feminine side.
I’m just letting my mind wander today…so, thank you, for letting me share. ❤