If You Knew, What Would You Have Said?

I have never been open about my sexuality, I have always had mixed emotions and it fluctuates on an ongoing basis. But often times, I look at the people in my life, and I wonder how they might have reacted, if they knew. Although, there is more acceptance in our society than before, I also think it is more dangerous (#Orlando). I’ve never told some important people in my life, and it’s because I’m quite aware of their opinions of the LGBT lifestyle. And, if I’m being honest with myself, I have held the same opinions at times, but I had not accepted my own reality because I was doing so well hiding it.

But I have often wondered at the reaction some people would have. How would my childhood friends reacted when they found out that I was attracted to a few of them? Would they still go roller skating with me? I wonder if my friends would have continued to look at girls,with me, had I admitted that I liked boys too. Would my parents have put me in some sort of gay conversion therapy if I would have maintained the argument that “gay people couldn’t help loving who they loved”? Would I have had any relationships with girls had they known I enjoyed sex with guys as much as I did with girls? What would my male lovers have done, if they knew I would have tried being open to having a boyfriend? How would employers have reacted to me being bisexual?

But most importantly, how happy would I have been, had I loved myself for being who I am?

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9 thoughts on “If You Knew, What Would You Have Said?”

  1. Some tough questions and good ones too! We all have to work at self acceptance. But of course it can be harder with some stuff that some parts of society feel the need to have opinions about. Luckily I think society is changing more and more away from the old prejudiced times. That is my hope anyway.
    I hope you can accept who you are cause who you are is pretty damn great. 🙂 💜💛💙💚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This must have been really tough and I am sure it still is. The thing is: you can never be 100 percent sure. Some people will surprise you positively, others negatively. I think that it is more a decision of daring to chose your own happiness. Yes you might lose a few friends, but you will keep the real ones that are worth keeping. What ever you decide though do it for you, because you feel like the time is right and you are comfortable doing it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. So what are you questioning yourself about? If it is a good time to tell everyone? If you do not feel comfortable yet, then perhaps now is not the right time. 🙂 Baby steps. You are currently trying to lose weight and are already working towards a better life style (bodily and mentally). Perhaps coming out on top of that is just a bit much? Yes it is a good thing that you are trying to change for the better and to accept yourself for who you are. Truly: that’s wonderful. But please don’t rush it. Your insecurity has been building up for years and it’s not going to be gone in a day, a week or perhaps even a month. It might take a year. But that’s ok.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I understand what you mean. Thinking about all of these questions is very important before officially coming out. Firstly, you need to accept and love YOURSELF. That’s always the first step. Next is to look at your safety. Please please please don’t come out if you think your environment will become unsafe.
    Society is definitely still evolving into the idea of the LGBT lifestyle! It’ll take time and I wish you all the best!
    Stay strong 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Reblogged this on Tarnished Soul and commented:

    I had a notification that someone had liked this post, today. I decided to read it and share it, because it is a reminder to myself that I need to maintain acceptance of myself. My self-doubts and criticisms never seem to go away, but I have to counter those with self-love, self-acceptance and self-realization.

    Like

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