I have never been open about my sexuality, I have always had mixed emotions and it fluctuates on an ongoing basis. But often times, I look at the people in my life, and I wonder how they might have reacted, if they knew. Although, there is more acceptance in our society than before, I also think it is more dangerous (#Orlando). I’ve never told some important people in my life, and it’s because I’m quite aware of their opinions of the LGBT lifestyle. And, if I’m being honest with myself, I have held the same opinions at times, but I had not accepted my own reality because I was doing so well hiding it.
But I have often wondered at the reaction some people would have. How would my childhood friends reacted when they found out that I was attracted to a few of them? Would they still go roller skating with me? I wonder if my friends would have continued to look at girls,with me, had I admitted that I liked boys too. Would my parents have put me in some sort of gay conversion therapy if I would have maintained the argument that “gay people couldn’t help loving who they loved”? Would I have had any relationships with girls had they known I enjoyed sex with guys as much as I did with girls? What would my male lovers have done, if they knew I would have tried being open to having a boyfriend? How would employers have reacted to me being bisexual?
But most importantly, how happy would I have been, had I loved myself for being who I am?