“i’ll be honest…i thought you were a girl. 😁”

Am I a girl?

Hardly, but it’s not the first time someone made that assumption about me. Actually, I have had people say similar things about me, and they actually have seen me face to face. Some of the things I have had people tell me are:

“You’re such a girl”

“You make a great girlfriend”

“I bet you make your husband very happy” (Yeah, don’t ask…)

“You’re such a bitch”

“You act just like a girl”

“That was a girly squeal”


There was a time when being characterized as a girl or feminine offended me.  But for some reason, I kind of take comfort in that aspect of my personality. To me, I am just who I am. If I’m girly, then I’m girly. I’ve gotten to a point where I realize that pretending to be something other than what I am is too painful. But, trust me, I’m not changing genders.

If you were connected to my last blog, it was obvious to some that I struggled with identity (I am the Assentively Yours referred to in that link. Also, Survivednarc is one of my dearest friends and she has been a source of great advice). Honestly, I never thought I struggled with my gender identity. I love being a guy, but it seems to be quite obvious to those around me that I display some very feminine traits. And if I take it into consideration, there are things I do that give me some calmness – i.e. like using these emojis 💖🌸🌼🌻👸🌹🌺🌷👠 (…okay, I’m kidding, I don’t use that many).

The reality is that I never want to take the Caitlyn Jenner route, but I do enjoy my softer more feminine side from time to time. And it’s always funny to me when someone assumes I’m a girl when I’m not actually trying.


39 thoughts on ““i’ll be honest…i thought you were a girl. 😁””

  1. 😃 I agree, what does it matter what other people think, really? We have to be who we are…! I remember you writing about your “feminine side”, and honestly I think a lot of people struggle with similar things. I for one know that I would like to be “more feminine” ha ha. I am really bad at it. 😉 I dont use a lot of makeup on a daily basis and prefer to dress as comfortably as possible (high heels are my enemies! Lol). So I think we should all just be ourselves no matter how cliché that may be. And oh thank you for mentioning me as your friend. Right back at ya!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. my cheeks are so red right now. in the two minutes of interacting with you i noticed you were understanding, kind, a good listener, funny, and empathetic. it was a wonderful surprise to find out that you were a man with the those qualities. I wouldn’t have said it if i didn’t mean it as a compliment. you’re a good sport. 💑

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I was giggling. It’s truly not the first time.
      I think it has a tremendous amount to do with two things…my sexuality and the fact that I my mom was a single mom when I was born and she only had sisters, as well as my only playmate was a cousin that’s a girl, so I had a lot of feminine influence the first few years of my life.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Rachel –

      I hope I haven’t offended you in some way. I’ve gone to your blog and it appears as if it’s now marked as private. I’ve sent a request to gain access, but I still can’t see it. I hope I’m not sounding too sensitive about it, but I do think you’re a great person….

      Liked by 1 person

      1. hey there. no. of course you haven’t offended me. i just turned off my privacy and posted. hopefully you can see it now. i just needed a few days to myself. a few days with no one looking, if that makes any sense.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Omg I didn’t actually think about whether you were male or female UNTIL I read this. That’s so crazy. . . It’s funny my best friend is a male and he’s very emotional and feminine. He’s actually quite my opposite. I think that’s why we are best friends because he’s emotional & I always hide my feelings. People also tend to call him a girl but he’s straight. I personally don’t give a rats ass about things like that. But this post made me like you more, as if, that could be possible. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh goodie! I like it when people like me. 😝
      Yeah, growing up, I had a lot of girlfriends that were…well, not romantic…lol. Apparently, I was a good girlfriend too. I think it’s important to have good friends. I feel like I’ve lost all my ‘real’ ones, so I’ll take all I can find here.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Lol, I remember that was one of the first things you said to me on this. “Everyone likes being liked”

        A lot of people aren’t freaking romantic! I’m a hopeless romantic, so I’m a sucker for that! But I can’t be romantic first, lol. Idk it’s so weird, haha.

        I feel like that too, but I’ve also come to realize that if there were a such thing as real friends in my life they would have stayed. Real anything doesn’t leave or die. Real love, real friendships, real feelings. . . But you’ve totally got a friend in me that’s for sure!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I’ve been reading your posts & somehow it makes me feel pretty connected to you. Reading this has made my day. It was a surprise but I loved it, I know you made a very compassionate comforting and good friend. I’m sure of it. Girl or Boy someone needs to tell you that you are a beautiful human being.

    Liked by 1 person

          1. I just felt like that at first. Everyone have their vision and views. It’s our wish to be like what we want to be cause it’s our life gifted by god and only one life so live to the fullest as we want… 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

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