Am I a girl?
Hardly, but it’s not the first time someone made that assumption about me. Actually, I have had people say similar things about me, and they actually have seen me face to face. Some of the things I have had people tell me are:
“You’re such a girl”
“You make a great girlfriend”
“I bet you make your husband very happy” (Yeah, don’t ask…)
“You’re such a bitch”
“You act just like a girl”
“That was a girly squeal”
There was a time when being characterized as a girl or feminine offended me. But for some reason, I kind of take comfort in that aspect of my personality. To me, I am just who I am. If I’m girly, then I’m girly. I’ve gotten to a point where I realize that pretending to be something other than what I am is too painful. But, trust me, I’m not changing genders.
If you were connected to my last blog, it was obvious to some that I struggled with identity (I am the Assentively Yours referred to in that link. Also, Survivednarc is one of my dearest friends and she has been a source of great advice). Honestly, I never thought I struggled with my gender identity. I love being a guy, but it seems to be quite obvious to those around me that I display some very feminine traits. And if I take it into consideration, there are things I do that give me some calmness – i.e. like using these emojis 💖🌸🌼🌻👸🌹🌺🌷👠 (…okay, I’m kidding, I don’t use that many).
The reality is that I never want to take the Caitlyn Jenner route, but I do enjoy my softer more feminine side from time to time. And it’s always funny to me when someone assumes I’m a girl when I’m not actually trying.